Until My Dying Day
by BrittanyRose
Summary: Sometimes it takes a tragedy for people to see how truly fleeting life is. Lily Evans and James Potter & co. love, lose, and form ties of compassion and friendship that can transend even death... JamwsxLily, SiriusxOC. Rating: language & suggestive themes
1. Pologue: Corrupt Foundations

_Until My Dying Day_

_A Fan Fiction Based on JK Rowling's Original Work, the _Harry Potter_ series._

_**By: BrittanyRose**_

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**Legal Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything affiliated with Harry Potter. This is a work of fiction, which is not created by me, but embellished by me. Any and all names, places, and/or incidents that appear in this fanfiction are a figment of either my or of J.K. Rowling's (infinite) imagination, and are purely coincidental to any and all names, places, and/or incidents that may have occurred in real life. In addition, although I do not own Harry Potter, or any of its affiliations, I do own this story idea. Therefore if it is to be copied for personal use or/and posted somewhere other than please ask my permission. Please understand that I will not hesitate to contact a lawyer.**

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**Author's notes: This is my first Harry Potter Fanfiction, and I hope to do well. Because of a new rule, I cannot reply to your reviews, but I will dedicate chapters to helpful reviewers. If you want a reply, be sure to include an email addy with your review.**

**Some dialect borrowed from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, pgs. 647 – 649, for this chapter. Thanks Mrs. Rowling!**

**Okay, this fanfiction begins and continues from Book 5 in the chapter 'Snape's Worst Memory'. I hope you all like it. There is also an original character, who will be playing a major part in the development of the story.**

**As Always, Read, Review and Enjoy!**

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_**Prologue:**_

_**Corrupt Foundations**_

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_Splash._

A giant tentacle zoomed through the air and crashed onto the otherwise calm face of the lake, splashing several students, including three girls sitting in the shade of a beech tree.

While enjoying a rather beautiful afternoon, Lily Evans breathed a sigh of relief. The sun was shining, and the only clouds in the sky seemed to be there because someone wanted a bit of relief from the sun. The day could not have been more perfect, especially since she had just finished her Defense Against The Dark Arts O.W.L and hadn't another of these grueling tests for the rest of the day. She was pleased to discover this particular test, which she had been dreading for days, turned out to be much easier than she had anticipated.

Lily threw her body backwards onto the soft grass and lay there, looking at the underside of the makeshift umbrella the foliage of the giant Beech Tree provided for her and her two best friends. She closed her deep emerald eyes and fanned out her long auburn hair, yawning as tiny rays of sunlight crept in between the leaves of the tree and tickled her face.

"…So then he says 'So Alice, you think you could talk to her?' and I'm looking at him, like, 'What makes you think I'll want to ask Lily _anything_ for you?' and you'll never believe what he said to me! He told me that if I talked to Lily for him he'd ask Frank Longbottom to take me to Hogsmede… Like I even _like_ Frank! I mean, what gives him that idea…"

"Alice, Alice! Hold on, I think Lily has a concussion or something", said Lily's best friend, Charity Miller.

Alice Frankton, the other of Lily's partners in crime, raised an eyebrow at Charity, who had, in her opinion, sounded suspiciously as though she was trying to avoid the subject Alice had just brought up, before looking at Lily.

"Lils", Alice said, giggling, "You're drooling. Perhaps you should go fetch a bib?"

Lily looked around startled, as if just noticing there were other people besides her on the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, before her eyes settled on Charity.

Charity was a very extroverted, outspoken person. She had a flair for drama that was often the source of much entertainment in the Gryffindor common room, the Great Hall, in class, in the dormitories, and – well, any time really.

The two of them had been best friends ever since the first time Lily had seen the Hogwarts Express. She and Charity had met one another that first day, and had become best friends almost instantly. Charity was a muggle born, like Lily, who had thought Hogwarts was some kind of joke, also like Lily. They shared an eagerness to discover everything they could about this whole new world. Because of this, they were known as the two smartest girls in their year. Lily outshined Charity Potion, while Charity had a flair for Defense Against the Dark Arts Lily never mastered.

Charity was full of school spirit. She was a Prefect and was the unanimously voted the commentator for the Interhouse Quidditch Cup, while Lily had never taken much of an interest in the wizard sport, simply because James Potter loved it so.

Charity and Lily also differed in temperament. Charity was quick to anger, but was also able to forgive and apologize as fast as she had gotten mad in the first place. Although she tended to let her mouth get carried away with her, Lily knew that Charity was the most loving person she'd ever met.

Lily, on the other hand, rarely got angry… Except at one person…

Charity was one of those girls who couldn't look bad, no matter what, even if they shaved their heads. She had long, wavy blonde hair that reached the bottom of her shoulder blades and big, round, green eyes. She was very pale, not unlike a porcelain doll. Her lips were permanently swollen, as though she had always just gotten done snogging someone. Lily had found herself on many occasions staring at her wondering how she could get her lips to look like that, until once James Potter had made a comment about the two girls being more than friends. Charity and Lily hexed him at the same time on this occasion.

Charity was also at least half a head shorter than Lily, and yet, somehow, Charity had always managed to eat at least twice as much. It was, Lily believed, a miracle of nature that not only was Charity thin, but also absolutely, voluptuously, perfect.

Another peel of giggles suddenly woke Lily up from her reverie. This time it was Charity laughing at her. Alice was trying to hold of on making fun of Lily, no doubt trying to avoid hurting her feelings.

She was such a nice person. If anything could be said negatively about Alice, it may have been that she was too nice – so nice, sometimes, that people tended to walk all over her. Of course, that had only happened BEFORE Charity and Lily had become her friends. Now people walked on thin ice around Alice so as not to invoke the wrath of her roommates.

Alice was also a wonderful gossip. Not the kind who hurt people on purpose, but the kind who gets every last detail down _exactly_ as it happened. She was sometimes better informed than the teachers of the goings-on at the castle.

She was a very pretty girl with a very round face. She had kind blue eyes that were accentuated by a spattering of freckles across her nose. Alice's hair was brown and straight and shoulder length. She was not as short as Charity, but not as tall as Lily.

Taking a closer look at her, Lily thought she looked like a hundred other girls at Hogwarts. She was average in a lot of ways, honestly… _But, _Lily thought, _she's a damn good friend._

Charity suddenly laughed. "Lily, you're doing it again already."

Lily's eyes focused on Charity's face for a moment. "Oh man, I'm sorry you guys. I'm just so tired from staying up so late."

Charity smirked. "I knew the Defense O.W.L was going to be a snap, didn't I? And I hate to say it, Lils, but – "

"Well then don't", Lily snapped, not being able to bear hearing 'I told you so' from Charity again.

Charity did not, however, look even slightly abashed at this tone in Lily's voice, but rather amused. Staring at the two of them, Lily found that she could not scowl while her two best friends were both teetering on the edge of laughter. She smiled.

"That's better", Charity said, "Now", she said, as though she were a teacher moving on to another part of the lesson, "you can listen to what Alice was saying about _Potter_."

Lily's face suddenly contorted to an expression of utmost contempt.

_Potter_.

She looked at Alice slowly, trying to soften her eyes. She didn't want Alice to think she was angry with her – that wasn't the case at all. But, she wanted there to be no misunderstanding, none at all, that the subject of James Potter was one that excited nothing in her except pure disgust.

"Well", Alice started slowly, blue eyes full of apprehension, "I was just saying how James had tried to bribe me to talk to you for him. That he thought I'd be able to make you be nice to him or something if he told me he'd talk me up to – get this – _Frank Longbottom_! Can you believe it! Who in their right mind… but anyways, he really wants you to go out with him, Lils. Why else would one of _them_ talk to me? I just couldn't believe he actually threatened to curse someone who was standing nearby because he thought they were listening in! He means business, Lily."

Charity spared Lily the task of speaking. "I guess he thinks if he stops harassing Lily and starts harassing one of her friends about her, that she may consider him or something."

Lily looked at Charity in shock. She'd never before heard this tiny blonde miss a reason to abuse James Potter. Lily was just about to voice this when Charity spoke again.

"To sum it up," she said, thoughtfully, "He's a total git." Lily and Alice laughed.

"I mean", she continued, "What kind of morons are those guys? James is a total jerk and Sirius abuses that pipsqueak Pettigrew as if it were his life's mission. The Remus lets the two of the run amok around here… I'm thinking the four of them are secretly in love with one another or something. James and Sirius both have girls flocking about them -"

"Sirius hasn't had a girlfriend for almost a year now, though", Alice said knowingly. "He stopped dating as much when he and Amelia broke it off, remember? It just seems like they date a lot."

"Yeah", Lily said venomously, "It seems that way because all those first and second years stalk them. And they LIKE it!"

Charity shuddered. "Last week that punk, Black, hexed me in Potions so that my robes started to ride up my legs. It took my forever to figure out why they kept creeping up, but there Sirius was, staring at my legs. When he caught me glaring at him, I think he wet himself."

The three of them sat there for a good five minutes abusing the Marauders, as they called themselves, when Charity Looked over Lily's shoulder and mumbled something that sounded like 'jackass', before throwing her head back and shaking out her hair, a sure sign of annoyance. Lily and Alice both looked in the direction Charity had just turned from to see the very morons they had just been discussing.

James, Sirius, and Remus were walking in their direction, Peter following at a trot, They, or at least Sirius and James, were doing a mighty good job being loud and obnoxious so that no one could ignore them. Lily glanced at Charity, whose eyes were following Sirius maliciously, as if deciding what would be the best Hex to use on him. Alice, however, was trying to carry on normal conversation. Lily suddenly heard her saying something about a Hufflepuff boy.

"..think he likes me or something? Why else would James try and use him to bribe me with? Alice trailed off, blushing. The other two girls, who, apparently, had both tuned in at the same time, shared a knowing look.

Lily and Charity knew Alice had long held a soft spot for Frank Longbottom, a kind, and shy Hufflepuff boy. Neither of them were going to push Alice into admitting it until she was ready, though.

Lily was just about to comfort Alice by saying it must've been a coincidence, but them she had a thought: How had James known? Alice was nothing if not careful to disguise her feelings about Frank, Lily was sure James must have been either stalking or some form of illegal magic on Alice to learn of this. Her mind was churning with possible explanations…

But just then Lily was distracted from making wild connections between Potter and Divination by a poke in the arm from Charity, who looked as though she were on the verge of bashing someone's head in with a broomstick.

Lily quickly found the source of the commotion: James Potter had just made Serveus Snape's mouth fill up with pink foam. This would have been very comical if it had not looked as though Snape were going to die of suffocation. Horrified, Lily saw that Sirius was rolling on the ground laughing at the sight. She began to feel as though she was going to throw up. Then, she noticed it - James was making it a point to look back in her direction.

_He's doing this to make me look at him!_ She thought angrily

"Where the hell is Remus! He's a Prefect, he should know better! I'm going to go over there and kill them all!" Charity screamed.

Alice was making noises; she was obviously terrified she'd see someone be badly hurt. Lily looked at James, and all of a sudden she knew that Charity would never get him to stop, that he'd probably hex her too. He wanted Lily's attention, and he was going to get it.

"No", Lily said, placing a hand on Charity's arm, "I'm going to get Potter once and for all. You see him over there looking this way? He's doing this to get my attention. I'm gonna show him attention alright…"

Charity sized her up for a minute and then sat back down, looking away, as if there wasn't anything going on at all. Lily took this for what it was worth and marched towards James, boring holes in him with her eyes. By this time, the pink foam had disappeared, but Snape was lying on the ground, apparently Impedimented.

"Leave him ALONE!", Lily shouted.

Both James and Sirius looked around at her.

"All right Evans?" James said in a tone that indicated he was not going to acknowledge the fact he was torturing someone.

"Leave him alone" Lily said again, this time, quieter and far more deadly, "What's he done to you?"

James surveyed her, as if debating over whether or not to try and impress her with his wit.

"Well," he said, "its more the fact that he _exists_, if you know what I mean…"

Everyone in earshot laughed at this – everyone, that is, except Lily, Remus and Charity, who was still staring intently at Sirius as one would stare at a bug they were intending to stomp on.

Lily was not amused at all – much to the contrary actually, she was infuriated.

"You think you're funny, but you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone._"

James, never missing a beat, replied, "I will if you go out with me, Evans. Go on… Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

She couldn't believe the nerve he had.

"I wouldn't go out with you," she said, "if it was a choice between you and the giant squid."

Sirius picked this moment to chime in.

"Bad luck, Prongs", he said. Suddenly his ears perked up and he turned quickly back to Snape: however, it was too late. Snape had somehow reached his wand.

"Oy!" Sirius yelled out at Snape, but it was too late. In their distraction talking to Lily, James and Sirius failed to notice that the curse he had placed on Snape had worn off. In a split second Snape sent a silent spell towards James. A bleeding gash appeared on the side of his face. James howled with rage as he sent a second jet of light back towards his attacker.

Suddenly, Snape was the one howling with rage. Unfortunately, no one could see his expression.

This was because he was hanging upside down by his ankles in thin air, revealing the skinniest, palest legs Lily had ever seen. But what was catching most people's attention was the fact that Snape had preferred not to wear any pants under his robes – the only thing he had chosen to cover his southern extremities was a pair of underpants Lily was sure hadn't been washed in at least a fortnight.

Lily felt the urge to laugh until she remembered that James and Sirius were torturing Snape for no reason.

"Let him down!" she hissed.

James looked at her. "Certainly", he said as he jerked his wand upward. Snape hit the ground hard, but recovered quickly drawing his wand. Sirius, however, was ready for him this time.

"_Locomotor Mortis_!" He said, laughing gruffly as Snape's body stiffened and fell backwards with a sickening _clunk_.

Lily was now horrified that they could pick on someone so defenseless. She was fiercely reminded of the stories she had been told of Death Eaters torturing small children just for laughs. This was enough.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" she screamed, her own wand now brandished.

James had to take a second look at Lily when he realized she was holding her wand towards him.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," he said, with a look in his eyes that suggested sympathy.

She found this slightly unnerving but refused to be deterred. "Take the curse off him then."

James looked at Lily, fighting off the inclination to leave Snape there underneath his invisibility cloak for a few days. Then he simply shrugged. He muttered the counter-curse.

"There you go. You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus - "

Snape cut him off, looking mutinous – but not at James.

"I don't need help from a filthy little mudblood like her!" he spat.

Lily drew her shoulders back. She felt as though she had been slapped.

"Fine", she said coolly, "I won't bother in the future." She turned to walk away, but stopped after a moment and turned back to Snape once more.

"Oh, and I'd wash my panties if I were you, _Snivellus_."

As Lily stalked off to meet Charity, who was now hurrying towards her, James Potter had reached a whole new plateau of Pissed Off.

"Apologize to Evans!" he roared at Snape, wand up.

Lily rounded on James again. "I don't want _you_ to make him apologize!" she screamed, deep auburn hair now flying wildly around her face, almond shaped eyes bulging, "You're just as bad as he is!"

"What!" James yelped, as though burned, "I'd NEVER call you a… a – you-know-what!" He was about to say, _I'd never want to call you anything except my girlfriend,_ but unfortunately, Lily couldn't hold back any longer. She was going to let him have it now. This particular segue was far too perfect to pass up.

A sadistic smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she spoke in that lethal voice she saved for those rare occasions in which she could really tear into James Potter.

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing of with that stupid Snitch, walking around corridors hexing people just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off of the ground with that fat head of yours on it! You make me SICK!"

She stood there for a moment, out of breath for screaming before turning on her heel and stalking back to the beech tree Alice was still sitting beneath. Charity was now walking past where Lily had been standing not two seconds before, when James suddenly yelled out "Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"

Snape was once more hanging upside down, robes over his head, but Lily didn't care so much anymore. She was too angry with James to even look at him – That is until she heard Charity Hex James and Sirius both with the Leg Lock Curse. Snape was instantly dropped back onto his head with another sickening crunch. Charity looked at Snape, who was scrambling to get to his feet, and sent a particularly violent curse towards him that made slugs pour out of his mouth. Alice and Lily laughed so hard they felt they would cry.

The scene playing out in front of them soon distracted Lily. Sirius and James were trying to figure out where their wands had gone to and Remus was arguing with Charity that he had been too engrossed in his book to notice the commotion, _honest_, he was. Charity finally gave him a one-fingered signal that indicated the conversation was over for good, and he stalked off. She then regarded Sirius, who was cursing fluently by now. Lily however was more worried about James. His face had become rather pale, although she assumed it was from the bleeding gash on his cheek and not because he had just, once again, had his dreams of romance thwarted by the only girl he ever cared for.

Alice was trying to not to catch the eye of Frank Longbottom, who was staring at her hard. She suddenly got to her feet and muttered something about going to sit with Remus and Peter. As Alice hurried off and sat down with the least arrogant of the four marauders, Remus looked over to Lily and gave a sad wave that suggested he was sorry for what had just happened. Lily knew that Remus had no control over the two of them, and she pitied him. He got very ill regularly and all he had for company was Potter, Black, and Pettigrew, who was now staring hopefully at Alice, like she were a candy bar he hoped to taste.

Lily shuddered. She turned her eyes back to James who was now staring silently at her. His look was peculiar, to say the least. She felt as if she were to divert her eyes from his that something bad would happen to all the puppies in the world.

The noise level outside had returned to normal as everyone was now going back to their own conversations, although some were still casting furtive glances at James and Sirius, the latter of the pair was still on the ground screaming in indignant rage at Charity for taking away 30 points from her own house, and the former of the two was still silently struggling to hold himself up, apparently forgotten by Charity, who had placed him there.

Lily stood up and walked over to Charity. "Hey," she whispered, "Potter looks ill. Should I take him to Madame Pomfrey?"

Charity threw a contemptuous look over James. "I guess so, but I'm keeping Black down here until curfew or until he apologizes… So I guess I'll see you at curfew, okay?" She rummaged through her pocket, which contained two wands other than her own which was in her hand. She pulled one out and handed it to Lily.

"Oh, and here's Potter's wand. Give it to him if you want."

Charity then took out the second wand from her pocket, Sirius's wand, and began taunting him with it.

Lily could not help but laugh at the sight of Sirius's usually handsome face red-tinged and contorted with animal rage.

She looked at James for a moment. He had yet to take his eyes off of her. There was something about the look on his face that made Lily sure she had missed something about him before. She finally kneeled down and handed him his wand.

"We're going. Take this… But if you try and hex me," she said, still holding onto one end of his wand while he had the other, "I'll make you sorely regret it, do you understand me?"

He regarded her for a moment, deciding whether or not she could truly make him regret anything. He decided that, yes, she looked capable of murder right now, so she'd certainly be able to 'make him regret it'.

"Okay, Evans" he said, defeated, "Where to?"

"Hospital Wing. You're face is awfully pale."

_Oh great_, he thought_, exactly how I wanted to spend my first moments alone with Lily Evans. Looking pale and sick._

"Okay."

"Okay", she said.

They stood there looking at each other in silence for awhile before they heard Sirius, who apparently just noticed he was the only one with a curse still binding his legs together, yell, "Why in bloody Hell does Prongs get to go and I'm stuck with you, you raving maniac?"

Lily giggled as Charity calmly flicked her wand and sent Sirius flying about five feet into the air before landing on the hard ground with a thud.

"Bloody hell… you battleaxe!", he groaned.

As they began to walk off, laughing, Lily and James heard Charity click her tongue at Sirius.

"Next time", she said maliciously, "it'll be ten feet. If I were you, I'd shut up with the name calling, _Padfoot_."

James stopped laughing ad a look of reminisces crept onto his features. He smiled.

"What?" Lily asked.

James looked at her. "Sirius is going to marry her one day. He doesn't realize how much he's in love with that girl."

Lily laughed in disbelief. " Oh? How do you know?"

He stopped walking and looked at her seriously. "Because. I've been there. One day he's going to wake up and realize that everything mean and nasty he's ever said or done to her was just so she'd know he existed. He'll understand that his whole reason for being alive is to be with her, because he'll never feel fulfilled until she accepts him. He'll spend the rest of his life chasing her because he knows she belongs to him, and he won't stop until she loves him back" he said, stepping closer to Lily, "But… even if she doesn't ever love him back, he'll never give up. Not until his dying day."

Lily's heart was trapped in her throat, her mouth was dry, and her fingers were numb. She didn't know what was happening to her brain. James Potter was within six inches of her face and she wasn't screaming or trying to hex him. Suddenly, she felt the need to speak.

"Oh? He'll never give up? I have a question, Potter. You know, if you really think all that, then why, do you think, he wouldn't just approach her respectably, honestly, and earnestly and tell her how he feels? Why couldn't he make her feel that it was her choice instead of 'Give in to me or I'll never let you go? Huh? Why can't he just be normal instead of following her around forever!'"

James smiled the saddest smile Lily had ever seen. "Because he built a corrupt foundation."

She raised her eyebrows. "What?"

James looked up. "In the muggle world, when you build a house, you have to lay a foundation for it. All your plans for building and growing are based on it. When the foundation is uneven, or corrupt, you need something more than your plans. You need more than the traditional framework for it to work.

"Sirius is going to have to show her he's not the same anymore, and that even though their foundation is rocky, that they can grow together and build a life together... He has to show her that they can be happy, not just explain how its possible. He just… has to show her."

He looked down at his feet as another trickle of blood sped across his cheek. Lily reached out to wipe it away and he caught her hand. "I'm sorry for saying I'd hex you… I'd never hex you, Evans."

Lily wanted to pull her hand away, but couldn't just now. James looked so vulnerable.

"I know that", she said, "Thanks, though… for the apology, I mean…And, also… Thanks for standing up for me when Snape called me a.. a 'mudblood'."

James looked up angrily. "Don't say that damn word."

Lily nodded, surprised at his vehemence. "Okay… well…", she stuttered, "Ummm, I guess Madame Pomfrey awaits."

"Yeah, I suppose so." He looked at Lily and let go of her hand. The stood there for a moment, outside the doors to the Entrance Hall, looking at anything but the other person.

"You know what Evans?" James said suddenly, opening the great doors before them, "I can go by myself, I know you don't want to be near me."

He turned to walk up the stairs in the front hall without a backwards glance, His tone suggested that he didn't care whether or not she went, but his shoulders had a definite roundedness to them, and his usual strut was now more of a shuffling.

Lily felt stung. _Isn't this what I want, though?_, she thought, _For James to leave me alone once and for all? Then why do I feel so hurt that he thinks I don't want to be around him? I don't… Do I?_

Lily stood in the entrance hall looking after him. Could James Potter actually be maturing? Or maybe she just hadn't looked close enough before. Something was off, there must be… _Otherwise why would I be feeling this way watching him go?_

"OY! James!" Lily yelled.

He turned, eyebrows raised. "Yeah?"

Lily ran up the stairs towards him.

When she got there, she smiled at him, took out her handkerchief and dabbed as much of the blood off his cheek as she could. She did this slowly, looking into his eyes. He had beautiful hazel eyes.

When she was satisfied she had gotten all of the blood she could get off of him, she said, "I want to go with you."

He observed her, as though waiting for the punch line. When it didn't come he smiled, a genuine smile, at her and said "Great. Oh, watch this step, it disappears."

"I knew that… but thanks anyways."

"Hey Evans?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I call you 'Lily'?"

She smiled. "As long as you leave Alice Frankton alone about me."

He smiled at her and nodded. "Sorry."

"…Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you go out with me?"

Lily laughed. "No, _James._"

"Okay", he said, "rain check. Got it."

She glared at him, but saw he was smiling and left it alone.

"…Lily?"

She stopped. "WHAT!" She demanded, laughing.

He turned to her and smiled. "One day…You'll see… One day…"

She looked at him as though she'd never plainly seen him before. What was it about him that was making her feel so warm?

"Now, to Madame Pomfrey's!" He yelled out, imitating Sir Cadogen, and holding out his arm for Lily.

She punched his arm and starting walking. "To Madame Pomfrey's. We've got a ways to go."

James looked at Lily, unknown to her, and smiled. _Yes, we've got a long ways to go,_ he thought, _a very long ways to go… but I can't wait to get there, Lily. I can't wait._

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There you guys go! I hope you liked this prologue, though I'm not sure where I'm going from here. I may skip to their seventh year. Idk yet! lol, anyways, Review for me, okay? I'll get back to you guys somehow! Thanks so much!

**BrittanyRose**

**PS:** **If you guy get an email from someone from talking about a new rule, open it and sign the petition so authors can reply to their reviews again, please? Thanks guys!**


	2. The Seventh Year

**Author's notes: Okay, I think it'd be a good idea to go ahead to the seventh year. I'll do my best to account for the sixth year, though! Okay, this chappy is prolly gonna be just as long as the last one, so bear with me! Anyways… lol, Read Review & Enjoy!**

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**Legal Disclaimer: See Prologue.**

**Summary of Legal Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with Harry Potter, but this story line and original characters. Don't sue me, please. Do not copy any part of my story without permission and if this story appears anywhere but on FanFiction dot net,please understand thatI will not hesitate tocontact a lawyer. Yes, it has happened before. Thank you.****

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_This chapter is dedicated to Amy, who's review made me downright giddy. Thanks!_

**Chapter one:**

**The Seventh Year Begins**

Lily Evans woke up on the morning of September first, more than a year later. It was the morning before she would begin her seventh year at Hogwarts. On the nightstand next to her bed there laid a letter from Hogwarts, congratulating her on becoming Head Girl. Lily had to admit that this surprised her greatly. She had always assumed that Charity would make Head Girl before she would, but then again, Charity _was _awfully busy enough with her tiresome schedule and already overwhelming Prefect duties. Lily had sent an owl to Charity upon receiving this letter and received a reply soon afterwards.

_Lily,_

_I'm so happy for you! You deserve it. When do you want to meet in Diagon Alley for school shopping? Send me a date back and I'll meet you whenever you want. We have to celebrate our total control over the school! I'm just joking! Anyways, I hope you've been all right since I've last seen you, and don't worry, this year will be the best yet, I know it! I've just had another owl, so I'll talk to you soon! Congrats again, honey._

_Love,_

_Charity_

Lily had a shrewd idea who this owl was from, and her suspicions were confirmed when she met Charity in Diagon Alley for school shopping a week later. Sirius Black and James Potter were waiting for them in front of Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions when they arrived. This greatly displeased Lily, who spent the rest of the shopping trip trying to hold conversation with Charity and Sirius (who were quite keen on keeping their conversations between the two f them), while being ignored by James. This wasn't entirely surprising, seeing as how James had ignored Lily the whole year last year. The only time James had actually made eye contact with her for more than two seconds was when Charity announced to the two boys Lily had gotten Head Girl. _He's probably worried that I'll give him detentions now_, she thought nastily.

Lily couldn't remain angry at Sirius or Charity for letting James come along for long. She found out soon that Sirius was living with James. This wasn't a total shock, for it was widely known that most of the Blacks did not claim Sirius as part of their family. Lily was fairly sure, however, that if she were Sirius, she would not want to be claimed by them.

Lily stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. Her auburn hair had grown quite a bit over the summer and she had to admit she was very pleased. She found herself thinking how most boys in her year liked long hair on girls, especially James Potter.

Lily shook her head, trying to clear him from her mind. She had avoided thinking about James for a while - ever since that day… The last school year had been a total disaster.

James had been right about Sirius. He fell for Charity. Hard. It was as if the two of them traded personalities or something. Sirius was no longer the boy who had five girlfriends, but the boy who loved Charity. The boy who seemed to have more or less become Prince Charming.

Charity had spent countless hours complaining about the attention Sirius was giving her, and Lily couldn't help but feel that it sounded all to familiar. Only Charity seemed to have been enjoying it much more than Lily had.

After the day in Diagon Alley, however, Charity seemed to have forgotten Sirius was bothering her. Now all she talked about was how handsome he was and how sweet he was, how much he'd changed and how much she thought about him.

Lily couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy at Charity's words. _I felt that way about James_, she would think bitterly,_ for about a week._

But after that week, all of a sudden, James had forgotten his five-year obsession with Lily. The last year at Hogwarts had proved that. James barely spoke to Lily all year, although she had caught him staring at her intently on several occasions. He just… gave up. It was as if she was just some girl he'd never talked to before, much less the girl whom he had spent six weeks trying to kiss in their first year. She especially wasn't the girl he had serenaded in the Gryffindor common room during their fourth year with a song he, himself, had composed. Lily found it remarkable that he could just pretend as though he had never wanted anything to do with her. This was a bit more bothersome to her than she was willing to admit. She often thought of that day he had been torturing Snape. She had found out since then that Snape had made it a habit of speaking ill of Lily around James just to entice him. And the thing that struck her most was that it had worked.

After that day, she had began to think of him differently… She placed a hand on her cheek, remembering, and she smiled…

So why, _why_, WHY was James pretending as though he couldn't see her anymore? Perhaps she had been right all along in thinking he was only after her for the chase? That the only reason he pursued her was because he knew he couldn't have her? That when she decided to be his friend, there was no challenge anymore?

If that was correct, she should have felt happy that he'd finally given up on landing her. But…

_But I'm not happy. I'm miserable. There has to be some other reason for it. There has to be._

Lily brushed out her long hair and put a smidge of mascara on her long eyelashes fringing her deep, emerald eyes. She observed herself in the mirror. The dips and curves of her seventeen-year-old body, the way she looked when she smiled. She couldn't help but wonder if James thought she was attractive…

_Stop it_, she told herself_, you DO NOT care what he thinks about you. He's a git. Forget him… the same way he's forgotten you._

Lily walked out of her bathroom and pulled out a pair of blue jeans and a pale yellow hooded jumper. After dressing, she found a pair of flip-flops and proceeded down to breakfast at her mother's call.

James Potter blinked as the sun streaming into his bedroom blinded him. He sat up looking around for a shirt to throw on and spotted his Head Boy badge that had came with his Hogwarts letter. He found out that Lily, sweet Lily, was going to be Head Girl on his trip to Diagon Alley with Sirius. He had not told her that he was her male counterpart. He had not told her much of anything since the end of their fifth year together.

He remembered that day as vividly as if it were just last night. He remembered how angry she was with him, how she had suddenly looked at him differently, how she had let him call her 'Lily'… He remembered how he had kissed her cheek as he left her outside the hospital wing.

He remembered Sirius coming in that night after curfew because Charity had kept him on the grounds, cussing her to hell and back. He remembered how he had told Sirius then that it was over, that he'd had enough of chasing Lily.

"_She doesn't want me. She's too good for me anyways, and I just don't know what else to do, Padfoot", he'd finished looking thoroughly defeated._

"_You seemed to be having much better luck today, though! I would've thought that'd give you fuel for another twenty years", he said, startled._

"_Used to it would have, but not after today. I'll never forget the way she looked at me, mate. I don't want to see her angry with me anymore. I'm going to give her what she wants."_

"_She wants you to stop acting like an arrogant git every time you see her! Are you bloody stupid?"_

"_Maybe I am!", James started angrily, "But I know that she might be my friend now, and I don't want to ruin it! I CAN'T ruin this!"_

"_Prongs", Sirius started, quite unabashed, "you've got to let her know that you love her. You can't let her think you just want to shag her mate! With our reputations, I wouldn't be surprised if that's why she's been rejecting you for so long!"_

_James blinked. "I don't know. Is my reputation really that bad?"_

_Sirius grinned. "Almost as bad as mine. But Lily's not stupid. She's had to have realized that you haven't gone out with anyone since we were in third year!"_

"_I think she's been to busy hating me to notice my social life, Padfoot."_

"_Look, if Lily's worth it to you, let her know. She's special. I mean, she has to be special, lookit who she's friends with! That hateful little bat-out-of-hell… bloody wretch… bounced me around the Quidditch pitch for an hour! An hour I tell you! My ass is killing me…"_

_Right on cue, Charity came through the portrait hole entrance of Gryffindor tower. Rather than looking disgruntled, as James thought she would have, she threw a cheeky smile at Sirius who scowled at her until she disappeared up the stair to the girl's dormitories._

_James saw that a smile tugged on the corners of Sirius's mouth right after she vanished. "Hypocrit", James muttered, smiling._

"_What!". Sirius asked._

_James leaned forward, " You torture her specifically because you want her."_

"_Hey now, I've only tortured her specifically a couple… a few… okay, okay, a load of times, but… "_

"_But nothing!" James said, grinning, "You look around for her! You always make the biggest commotion when she's around, and I know it's not because you like McGonagall's detentions, either."_

_Sirius stared at James, sputtering. "I… no, you… but she's… you… shut-… wrong…" _

_He stopped. "You know, Prongs? I reckon you may have a point."_

_James smiled sadly. "I know I do. You're treating her like I treated Lily."_

_Sirius's look sobered as he spoke. "I am, aren't I… So, Prongs, why're you giving up on Lily again?"_

"_Because. Lily's finally shown signs of not hating me anymore and I'm not going to screw it up! I'm going to leave her alone like she wants. I'm tired of having her despise me."_

And that had been that. Ever since that night, he had given up on Lily Evans. This year, though, THIS YEAR he would have her or lose her forever. He had come to the decision that he would finally heed Sirius's advice: _you've got to let her know that you love her._

In his mind James had a huge, elaborate plan which involved he and Lily on Head rounds, getting down on one knee and confessing his love to her while the whole school popped out of doors in the hallway and applauded.

Just as he was imagining Professor Dumbledore posing as a priest and marrying them in the Great Hall, something very heavy struck James in his stomach.

"Oufff…"

"Rise and shine", the something very heavy sang, "We have to make sure we're on time this year, Mr. Head Boy, Quidditch Captain, and soon-to-be best friend of the guy with the best looking girlfriend in the school!"

James opened his eyes and grinned at Sirius, his new housemate. "This enthusiasm wouldn't happen to have anything to do with getting to see Charity, would it?"

Sirius looked at James in mock-offense. "What ever do you mean by that? I'm simply anxious to set 'Operation: Get Charity to talk to Lily for James so I can be the hero' in action!"

"So, you really think Charity will talk to her?" James asked hopefully.

"Of course she will! She told me the other day that Lily was wondering why you don't talk to her anymore and sounded disappointed."

James looked up. "I do too talk to her! I just don't talk to her unless I have to! Like she bloody well wanted!"

Sirius laughed. "Well, mate, you'd better think of some more stuff to say to her, because she thinks you're ignoring her on purpose… or at least that's what Charity thinks she thinks… I think."

James threw his pillow at Sirius, knocking him off the end of his bed. "Shut up, you. I'm gonna get dressed, then we'll go."

Sirius got up, laughing. "Okay, I'm going to finish packing."

He walked off as James dug through his drawers for a pair of jeans, but stopped.

"Hey, Prongs?"

"Yeah?"

"What'd you think Lily'll say when she finds out you're Head Boy?"

James thought for a moment, debating whether or not to tell him the truth. "I haven't really thought about it", he lied.

He'd actually thought about it quite a lot, but all of the scenarios he'd devised involved the privacy of the Head's Compartment on the Hogwarts Express and Lily wasn't _saying_ things as much as she was whispering sweet nothings into James's ears.

Sirius shrugged. "Guess we'll find out", and left.

_Yeah,_ James thought,_ we'll find out._

As he pulled on his jeans and a tight fitting black t-shirt, James looked across his room to the full-length mirror, picturing Lily sitting beside him. He wiped a bit of sleep out of his hazel eyes, causing the fantasy in his mirror to disappear.

Shaking his head, he took one last look in the mirror before steeling himself for the day ahead.

Charity Miller was standing alone on platform 9 ¾ waiting for Lily to show up.

_Head Girl and she still can't show up on time,_ she thought, smiling.

Charity brushed a stray tendril of long blond hair out of her eyes, looking around for the other person she was hoping to see soon.

A smile crept across her face as she heard him yelling through the barrier to the platform.

"GET OUTTA MY WAY PRONGS! I'M IN A BLOODY HURRY!"

She giggled as she heard James Potter, also known as Prongs, laugh at the voice. "You think you'll dry up and die if you have to wait an extra thirty seconds, Padfoot?"

The voice, however, had no time to answer, as the two of them toppled through the barrier on top of one another.

Charity laughed as the voice, also known as Sirius Black, spotted her and rushed forward. She waited with her arms out and welcomed his embrace as he swung her around, kissing her fervently.

"Whoa, now, honey! You're going to suffocate me."

He laughed, and loosened his grip on her waist, giving her one last, much calmer kiss.

"How have you been, love?", he asked.

Charity, noticing a group of girls sending scathing looks her way, raised a middle finger to them before answering.

"I'm better now. How's life at the Potters'?"

"Fantastic! There isn't anything black or Dark there but the inside of the chimney."

"I'm so glad you got away from that horrible, horrible place, Sirius", Charity said earnestly.

Sirius smiled down at her. "I'm just glad I'm with you now."

James watched as Charity stood on her tiptoes and kissed Sirius on the lips as Remus Lupin appeared beside him.

"They're positively disgusting, aren't they?" Remus said, smiling.

James nodded in agreement. "Yeah. So, what's been going on Moony? Mad at me? Jealous?" he said, grinning widely, knowing for certain Remus was none of those things.

Remus laughed. "Mad at you? For what? Oh, yes, for becoming Head Boy? Of course not! I think it's rather funny, actually. Dumbledore has lost his mind", he laughed harder. "Don't worry, though, I'll help you out. I know you must be terrified of what the Slytherins are going to do to you."

James felt his smile falter for a moment. _That's a disturbing thought._

Just then, a familiar voice pulled James form his thoughts.

"Charity!"

Charity whipped around and out of Sirius's arms, positively bouncing with joy. "Lils!"

The two girls embraced and proceeded to make, in James's opinion, an absurd amount of noise, chattering and squealing as though they hadn't seen one another only a week ago. He smiled in spite of himself. The mere thought of Lily could bring a smile to his face. He was staring at her when she turned and caught his eye, embarrassed, as though she hadn't wanted him to see her look his way.

She blushed and he attempted what he hoped was a friendly smile. Lily looked as though she was more confused when she saw this than she had been in a long time. She immediately turned to Charity, muttered something to about going to the Heads Compartment, and positively scurried away.

Charity looked around and saw James standing alone and staring after Lily. Her heart went out to him, but she felt she owed her allegiance to Lily more. After all, James _had_ just stopped acting like.. well, like 'James'. He no longer treated Lily like he had feelings for her, and after that afternoon in their fifth year, which Charity had heard about in _excruciating_ detail, she felt he ought to have been beaten for leading Lily on the way he had. Sirius swore up and down that James wasn't trying to lead Lily anywhere, and that he loved her but was tired of rejection. She had to admit it made sense, but Lily's theory that James simply wanted what he couldn't have sound a lot more likely.

Charity looked around at James again and discovered he was gone, although Sirius and Remus were still standing nearby on the Platform.

"Hey, Black" Charity said.

"Black?" Sirius replied, "What's with this 'Black' business, _Miller _?"

Charity laughed. "Sorry, love.. It's just, where'd James go?"

Sirius looked guilty. "He, uh, he went to the Heads' compartment."

Charity raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow, "And why would he go there without Remus?"

But it was Remus who spoke instead of Sirius. "Because I'm not Head Boy. James is."

Charity felt as though her head would explode. _Lily… close confines… James… murder…_

"What!" she screeched. "How could you have not told me it was James, Sirius? What's the matter with you?"

Sirius reddened. "Does it matter, really?"

"Yes!" Charity yelled, temper rising dangerously. "Do you have any idea how furious Lily's going to be that you two didn't tell her a week ago? She's in there expecting Remus who she gets on well with, not James who gives her a rash whenever he in a mile radius of her!"

Sirius looked at her meekly, willing her to calm down with his eyes. "Charity, how bad could it be?"

Lily knocked on the Heads' compartment at the front of the train. "Come in", a stern voice answered.

"Miss Evans, nice to see you", Professor McGonagall said, "Please sit down. We're waiting for Mr. – ah, yes, I believe I hear him coming now."

Lily turned towards the door waiting for Remus to walk through it. But Remus never did. Instead it was –

"James!" Lily exclaimed, aghast. _This must be a joke. There's no way._

"Mr. Potter, so nice of you to join us, please have a seat next to Miss Evans."

James looked at Lily and noticed that the look on her face was not disappointment, but sheer horror.

Professor McGonagall seemed not to have noticed anything amiss for she continued on. "First of all, congratulations on becoming Head Boy and Girl. I know it must have came as a shock to the both of you, having never been Prefects, but Professor Dumbledore feels, and I must say I agree, that both of you have shown remarkable moral fiber over the past six years, yes, even you Mr. Potter, and will make a wonderful team."

She paused, looking down her nose through her spectacles at them.

"I know that the two of you have had differences, but both being members of Gryffindor House, my house, you two have seemed to overcome them. I believe that people who overcome major obstacles, especially personal ones, make the best leaders."

Lily felt guilty indeed as McGonagall spoke. She had not overcome any obstacles connected to James Potter, she had merely replaced old differences with new, albeit less noticeable, grudges.

"I'd like to say how proud I am to have both the Heads in my house this year."

She took a long look at each of them. James inclined his head and mumbled a 'thank you', but Lily's tongue was glued to the roof of her mouth, it seemed.

"Now, onto duties. You will give out passwords and instructions to the Prefects awaiting you in their compartment, two doors down and to the left of this one when you leave, and patrol the corridors every half hour. You will sit in you own compartment, across the hall from this one. I will come by in two hours time with a Patrol Schedule and directions to the Heads' office you will be sharing – Yes, Miss Evans?"

"'Heads' Office', Professor?"

"Its something like the common room in your tower where you two will put together the Prefects' patrol schedules, organize the Hogsmede trips, hold the Quarterly Meetings with the Prefects, the first of which is next Monday evening, and where you'll be planning this year's Christmas Ball. Any other questions?"

Lily shook her head. "No Ma'am."

"Excellent," she said, "Now your curfew will be 2 AM and not a minute later unless you're patrolling and you'll be in charge of all the Prefects."

She stopped for a moment before turning to James.

"Now, Potter, I'm going to want a word with you about the Quidditch team this year. Is Black still playing Keeper?"

James nodded.

"Good. Keep him there. As you know there are now three spots open on the team, two chasers and one beater. I will be in touch with you sometimes during this week with a list of names of people who wish to try for the positions and you can set up try-outs at your leisure, same as last year."

James grinned. "I remember Professor. We'll be sure to win the cup this year. Sirius is fantastic and I've gotten a bit better, I think. If the Chasers are even half as good as last year's we'll be a shoe-in."

Lily glanced at James. _I can't remember him ever complementing someone else before him. Come to think of it, I've never heard him compliment anyone else,_ she thought.

"Well, that's good to hear Potter. I've grown accustomed to seeing that cup in my office the past five years. Let's make it six, shall we?" she smiled as James nodded again. "Good", she said. "Then here are the passwords. Again, I'll be by you compartment soon to give you the directions and the schedules. I advise you spend the time in between to get to know one another better, for you'll be spending obscene amounts of time together."

Lily reluctantly took the envelopes holding the two sets passwords and the directions to be given to the Prefects from her outstretched hand and gave a copy of each of them to James. James tried to catch her eye, but Lily wasn't having it.

"Off you go", McGonagall said and hunched over her paperwork once more as if they were already gone. James sidestepped Lily and opened the door for her. She looked at him and mumbled a 'thank you' as they walked the few steps to the Prefect compartment.

Lily opened the door and noticed Charity looked extremely nervous and jumped when Lily walked in. Remus, however, looked highly amused as he looked at James and said, "Prongs", inclining his head in greeting.

Lily was fighting to keep her anger down as James winked at Remus.

"Okay everyone," James said," I'm James Potter", a few girls sighed, "and I'm Head Boy this year. This is Lily Evans who is Head Girl. These", he held up his hand with the envelopes in them. "are the passwords to your Houses. We'll be giving you your patrol schedules as soon as possible, so don't worry about it. Also, there is a Quarterly Meeting next Monday, which you are all expected to attend, no exceptions, and we'll be in touch with you all again to give you directions. If any of you have questions as to what the 'Quarterly Meeting' is, ask Remus or Charity here, and I'm sure they'll be glad to inform you. Lily?"

Lily did not hear him. She was thinking too hard. She had never heard James address a group of people without making a fool out of himself before. _Did he just make a fool out of himself in front of me? To embarrass me or something?_, she thought.

"Lily?"

She looked up at James who was staring at her oddly. "Huh?"

"Do you have anything you want to say?" he asked. She looked into his eyes, and he seemed to realize that he was looking back for he turned away quickly and smiled at a fifth year Ravenclaw girl who was making googley eyes at him. Lily flushed.

"Oh, yes, we're both in Gryffindor if any of you have any questions for us. You'll be expected to patrol the hall every so often and you're allowed to take house points and assign detentions as well. You are not allowed to abuse this, however, and if you are found to be doing so, you'll be stripped of your position immediately. Also, any major disturbances, such as severe physical injuries and such should be reported to either one of us or Professor McGonagall immediately. Our compartment is two up and to the right of here and McGonagall's is across the way from our's. When we're finished in here, you can go and sit with your friends as well."

She looked at James quizzically, wondering if she had left anything out. It didn't appear so, for he said, "Alright then? Any questions? No? Well, see you all later."

Lily turned to leave, but someone caught her hand. Her fist balled by instinct as she turned to whom she thought was James Potter.

But it was Charity.

"Hey, you okay?" she asked.

"Did you know?" Lily demanded. There was no need to clarify.

"No, I swear Lily I didn't. I let Sirius have it though. He knew and didn't tell me on purpose."

Lily surveyed Charity and decided she was telling the truth, for she looked every bit as angry as Lily felt. "Okay", she sighed, "I know. I'm sorry to snap at you, but you have no idea how badly I wanted to scream when I saw him walk in McGonagall's compartment. What was Dumbledore thinking?"

Charity shrugged. "Lil, don't worry. It may not be as bad as you think, you know?"

"I hope not. I really hope not."

Charity threw her a sympathetic smile and walked out of the compartment, no doubt, to go meet Sirius and the rest of her friends. Lily stood in the empty compartment for a few minutes trying to regain her composure before she ventured into the Heads' compartment where she would be forced to sit alone with James Potter for the remainder of what promised to be a very long day.

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**Okay, that's it! Please, please review! I'm very fond of this story, and already have the whole thing mapped out, ready to go... I'd hate to see all my planning wasted for a lack of feedback (... yes, I know, I'm pathetic playing the pity card, but I shall do it regardles, lol. Thanks to all who reviewed last chapter. I will reply to your reviews on the review board due to a new rule on the site. Thanks so much you guys! Please Review!**

**BrittanyRose, the original 'Fleur'**


	3. New Beginnings

**Legal Disclaimer: _See Prologue._**

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**Author's notes: This chapter isn't quite as long as the previous two, but I accomplished what I wanted to accomplish. I hope you all like it! Please Review!**

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_This chapter is dedicated to Gwen._

**Chapter 2:**

**New Beginnings**

James ran a shaky hand through his hair. He had a vague thought of a hole wearing in the carpet of the Heads' Compartment as his feet wandered in aimless circles, mind racing.

_That look on her face when she saw me… she's not happy. Not happy at all_, he thought to himself. _She hates me again, I know it, she does… why?_

As he was about to answer himself, the compartment door slid open to reveal a very irritable Lily Evans. She threw him a contemptuous glance and sat down.

James looked at her furtively as he continued his pacing. _Should I say something? No, she'll throttle me._

He ran his hand through his hair again.

"I hate that", Lily said quietly.

James looked up at her. "Why?"

She didn't look at him. "Because it's a stupid thing to do. It doesn't make you look more attractive. It makes you look like a git."

_It does too make him look more attractive_ a voice in the back of her mind said.

"I never thought it made me look more attractive", James replied, hurt.

She looked at him, sitting there with his head hanging. _Great, now I feel bad for hurting his feelings._

Lily sighed mentally. "Sorry", she mumbled.

James looked up. "For what?"

Lily's eyes flashed. "If you're too stubborn to admit your pride got hurt just now, than I take it back!"

James shook his head and leaned forward, gazing intently into Lily's eyes. "You're a very angry person, you know. You have no reason to be so damn hostile."

If he were expecting a retort, he would have been disappointed. Lily stared resolutely in the opposite direction.

James observed her closely, determined to make it better somehow… at least civil.

"Lily – " he started, but was interrupted. Lily had rounded on him so fast he jumped. She wore that same cold, hard expression she had worn when she used to yell at him for asking her out.

"Shut up James! How do you always manage to do this to me?"

James stared at her blankly. "Do _what_ to you?" he asked.

"Ruin everything! _Remus_ was supposed to be Head Boy! No, you ruin the first five years of Hogwarts for me by stalking me, waiting around every corner, even in the loo sometimes – oh no, yes you did I remember and so does Raine Bones form Ravenclaw", she threw at him when he attempted to interrupt. _Oh, yeah, I remember that now_, he thought. He would have laughed, but feared for his life. Lily pressed on. "Then when I finally start to believe there's something more to you, you decide that you've completed your life's mission of making the one girl who'd turn you down accept you and you treat me like some insignificant piece of gum stuck to your overpriced shoes, you stuck up, know it all, little JERK! Now, NOW you ruin my last year by making me spend it entirely with you!"

She stopped, breathing hard, and James waited until the blood in her cheeks had receded slightly before speaking. It gave him enough time to process what he had just heard.

"What a minute, now, you wanted me to leave you alone! You told me about three hundred and sixty nine different times to leave you alone! And I didn't ask Dumbledore to make me Head, Lily, I didn't! You think I want to be stuck with someone who hates me all year!"

"Oh, piss off James! You expect me to feel sorry for you or something? You want me to say I don't hate you? I thought we were going to be friends or something, but oh no! Not the great James Potter! He had to make sure that everyone knew he had finally gotten Lily Evans to be nice to him so he could just act like he didn't know her! Just because Charity thinks you had good intentions at heart doesn't mean I believe your cock and bull story – not even a bit!"

James stared at her. "You mean to tell me you're mad at me for doing what you asked me to do because you changed your mind about what you asked me to do without telling me you didn't want me to do it anymore… or something like that?"

Lily opened and closed her mouth several times, looking remarkably like a goldfish, James thought, but no sound came out.

_Ah hah! I won!_ James thought, a savage satisfaction coming over him.

Her face reddened, and James prepared himself for a second round, but it never came. Instead Lily stood up staring at him angrily, her bottom lip quivering.

"Yeah, I guess so. Everything's so black and white in your little world isn't it? Anyone with common sense would've know that I - ", she gulped, a single tear escaping from the corner of one of her red eyes as James stared at her in absolute horror. She continued onwards, oblivious, "Anyone with any common sense would've known that us getting along would mean there's no reason to avoid me!"

She looked at him, choking back tears, a mental war waging in her head as she decided whether or not to say what she wanted to say.

"You know, you… Why couldn't you have left me alone any day _before_ that day, then? ANY DAY BEFORE _THAT _ONE!"

And with that, Lily turned as hurled herself out the compartment door, tears flowing freely down her face.

James stared at the closed door for a full minute before he could tear his eyes away.

_What have you done now, Prongs?_ He asked himself, ashamed and disgusted.

* * *

Lily threw herself into the empty Prefects' compartment and pulled her knees to her chest sobbing. 

_Why am I crying?_

She knew, deep down, she was crying because he was right… partly. She had insisted on him leaving her alone. She had done it for years.

_But wouldn't any normal person have wanted to be friends with someone they proclaimed to like so much? Especially when that someone wants to be friends with you back? And said 'someone' actually let you kiss her on the cheek with out breaking your nose?_

Lily heard the door slide open and pulled her wand out, ready to hex James.

"…Yeah, hang on! I've left my wand!"

_That's not James…_

Charity stared at Lily's wand in fright. "Lils, what'd I do?"

Lily laughed a sad, wet laugh that sounded more like a sob. "Sorry, I thought you were James."

Charity sat on the floor next to Lily. "What happened?" she asked.

Lily explained the whole thing, word for word, and waited for Charity to speak.

Charity looked as though she was choosing her words very carefully.

"Lily, have you ever really spoken to James since that day?"

"No. Why should I have? He's been ignoring me since."

Charity fought hard not to shake her head at Lily's stubbornness. "Okay, maybe not. But lets just say that he left you alone because… because maybe he thought you'd like him more that way?"

Lily looked at her, and almost laughed. "Yeah, right. You know, I can't believe I'm crying over him! Why should I care what he says, you know? Oh, I've made a fool out of myself…"

"No you haven't. You just care more about him than you want to, it's perfectly natural."

"I don't care about him though", Lily protested.

Charity sighed, standing up. "Lily, I love you, and I'd do anything to help you, so I'm going to try and do that. You're being a baby. You're being stubborn and I don't know what you can't just admit that he's hurt you! He couldn't hurt you if you didn't care what he thought and you know it. I think you're fabulous, I honestly do, but you keep pushing people away form you and eventually they're going to stay away. Maybe that's what happened to James, maybe not, but I do know you're missing out on knowing the truth. I'm going back to my compartment. See you later."

And with that, she left. Lily stared after her, righteous indignation rising.

_That's not true. I don't push people away and I don't care about James Fat-Head Potter._

**_Oh, that's mature. 'Fat-Head', _**a voice said.

_Who the hell are you._

_**You're conscience, you ninny.**_

_Ninny? Now who's mature?_

_**That's not the point.**_

_Then what do you want._

_**To tell you do care about him and you did push him away. You spent five years pushing him away.**_

_Yeah but, why'd he have to listen to me only after I've started liking him?_

_**I don't know. I'm your mind, not his. But I can tell you that he wants to start over.**_

_How do you know?_

_**Listen, baby doll, I don't know anything you don't already know. I'm just here to push it to the front of your mind. I work for you.**_

_Oh. Well, in that case, I order you to shut up and leave me alone about it._

Lily heard the door slide open again, and looked up to give Charity, who must be coming to apologize, a rather large piece of her mind. But, for the third time that day, she had been expecting the wrong person.

"McGonagall wants us to do patrols now", James said, closing the door behind him.

"Fine", Lily replied, struggling to keep her voice even.

"Lily, I didn't mean to make you upset."

"You didn't, just drop it, please."

He caught her hand as she turned around. "I need you to know why."

She sat down, unable to resist hearing this. "'Why'? 'Why' what?"

James sighed. "You know 'what'. Lily, that day in fifth year, I was so happy that you were being nice to me. I was so, so happy about it that I decided to back off from you. I figured if I tried to ask you out again afterwards that you would've told me off for trying to take advantage of your friendship or something. I was trying to do what you wanted me to do, you know? Please tell me you understand."

"Okay, I might understand that if I understood why you felt the need to ignore me completely for the whole next year!"

James looked down. "I'm sorry. I thought it was what you wanted, honest. Lily", he said as he looked up and into her eyes.

"That was mighty stupid of you wasn't it?" Lily said savagely.

James held her gaze with difficulty. "Lily, I need you to understand something: I'd never do anything to hurt you. Never."

Lily felt the same warm feeling in her stomach that she had felt looking into his eyes so long ago.

She let out a breath she had been involuntarily holding. "Okay, James, let's say that I believe that. What are we going to do now?"

James shrugged. "Start over?" he asked hopefully.

Lily smiled slightly. _Stupid conscience. It'll never let me forget this._

"Okay, James, I guess we can start over… But that doesn't mean we're friends or anything right now."

James smiles, "We'll, the sooner we're friends the better, because I have a feeling we're going to be spending a lot of time together."

"Of course we will, we're the Heads."

James shook his head, still smiling. "Not just on duty, in our free time too."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Why is that?"

"Think about it - Your best friend and my best friend are _together_ now… like, seriously together."

"I guess you're right, I'd never really considered it… hmm."

"We could keep them company if you go out with me."

Lily didn't even think. She balled up her fist and went straight for his nose.

"HEY! I was just playing around, I swear!" James yelled out, grabbing her fist.

They looked at each other for a moment. Then Lily started laughing. "I knew you were going to say that."

"No you didn't!"

"Oh, piss off, yes I did!"

"PATROLS! _NOW!"_

"Coming Professor!" they yelled in unison, scurrying out of the compartment, down the hall, laughing all the way.

* * *

When Lily and James walked in the Great Hall some many hours later, laughing and joking about first years andsenile teachers, astonishment graced all the features of every single one of their friends. 

Lily plopped down between Charity and Alice, who looked like she was about to cry from shock.

Lily leaned over to Charity, and whispered, "I'm sorry. You were right - I _was_ acting like a baby."

Charity merely nodded, still gaping at Lily, who just smiled.

As Dumbledore began his traditional start of term speech, Sirius was making obscene suggestions as to why James and Lily had suddenly hit it off so well.

"All alone up there in that compartment? Yeah, I bet you're getting on fine with her now you sly dog, you. Did she – "

Bewildered, Sirius grabbed his throat. Although his mouth continued to move, no sound came out. He looked around the table and Lily winked at him. His silent mouth began moving furiously, protests and obscenities being thrown about, but not heard. He had obviously realized that Lily had just used a Silencing Charm on him from under the table to the general approval of all in earshot, even Charity.

They listened to the rest of Dumbledore's speech intently.

"…Many of us here have lost loved ones in recent days and I am sorry to say that more casualties in this battle of Good and Evil will most likely occur. We mustn't let the sacrifices of those gone to be made in vain!"

Dumbledore looked around the Hall, pausing in his speech for dramatic effect, raised his goblet and said, "Let us toast!

"To coming together during this time of great distress! We must forget old differences and forge onward in new bonds of love, trust and friendship! To New Beginnings!"

Everyone in the Great Hall followed in suit. "To New Beginnings!"

As Lily put her goblet back down, she noticed James looking at her from across the table.

"Great man, Dumbledore. A truly great man."

Lily tilted her head to the side and raised her drink to James. "To New Beginnings."

"Does this mean we're friends now?" he asked.

Lily rolled her eyes, but then smiled. "I guess it does, Potter."

James looked at her for a moment. He smiled. "To New Beginnings", he repeated.

As they drank to each other, Lily Looked up at the staff table and could have sworn that, just for a second, she saw Professor Dumbledore smiling at them.

* * *

**Well, here you go people! I hope you enjoyed it. Now for those of you who think I may be moving through the story line too fast, don't count your eggs before they're hatched. Trust me, little ones, I know what I'm doing… I think, lol. Thank you to all who reviewed the story and to those of you who are going to continue reviewing the story! I do it all for you!. I'll be replying to your reviews form last chapter on the review board shortly!**

**BrittanyRose, the original 'Fleur'**


	4. Eavesdropping

**

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Author's note: A big Thank you to all of you who reviewed. I tell you, I've been writing like a woman possessed lately. Here's another chapter for you! I hope you all like it, and I also hope that if anyone has any ideas, please contact me and I'll be sure to consider them.**

* * *

**  
Legal Disclaimer: _See Prologue._**

* * *

This Chapter is dedicated to BlueJeanMistress.

Chapter 3:

**Eavesdropping**

After the feast was over and the Great Hall began to empty, James caught Lily by the arm.

"May I escort you to the common room, your majesty?" he asked, holding his arm out, smiling.

Lily giggled, but didn't take his arm. "Listen, James, I know I said we'd be friends and all, but you need to understand something: I'm not going to just forget the past year and a half, okay? I don't believe that you were doing what you did for my benefit. I don't and I can't."

The grin had slowly slid off of James's face as he listened to her words. "Lily, I don't know what you want me to say… I… What do I have to tell you to make you believe me? WHY won't you believe me?"

"'Why', James? Because I've watched you act like a selfish jerk for the past six years. I've never known you to do something for anyone without getting something out of it for yourself. I think there's more to it than you're telling me."

"But - "

"No. No 'buts', James. I'm just telling you this all so you'll know. I'm willing to start over, but I'm not giving you a 'clean slate', so to speak. Your slate will never be clean as far as I'm concerned, but I feel I owe it to my best friend and this school to try and give you the benefit of the doubt, even if it's just a little bit. I'm not angry with you anymore. I'm not. But I don't forget people who hurt me… Especially the things they do, and ESPECIALLY if I felt that that person was – how do Americans say it – oh, yes, playing games with my mind. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some friends to catch up with."

As Lily walked off, James stared at her, completely and utterly dumbfounded.

"Oy! James!"

He looked up. Lily was at on the stairs looking down at him. "Yes?" he asked hopefully.

She smirked. "You'd better hurry up if you still want to walk with me."

* * *

That night in the Gryffindor common room, after showing the first years to the dormitories, Charity, Remus, Lily, and James joined Sirius and Alice at the fire, kicking several younger students out of squishy red and gold armchairs to make room. 

Charity made a beeline for Sirius who had, apparently, gone far too long without kissing her judging by their actions as soon as she had reached him, and James and Remus each took an armchair. James wasted no time in divulging his and Lily's conversation to the most sensitive Marauder, in hushed voices.

"…She wasn't even rude to me when she said it. Honestly, Moony, I think I'd have felt better if she were screaming at me, but no, she was talking to me calmly, and _smiling._ She was positively grinning! It was like she was talking about the weather or a class assignment or something. It felt so… cold, I guess. And I thought we were getting on so well, too!"

Remus sat, staring at the fire, contemplating all that James had told him.

"I think", he said, "that Lily is simply setting boundaries for your 'friendship'. She wants you to know that she's not interested in becoming emotionally attached to you, not even a little bit."

"But then why couldn't she have said all that to me on the train instead of just now?"

Remus shrugged. "I'm not sure, but I know that if I waited a long while before telling someone something that involved boundaries and whatnot, and especially if I was sounding so defensive… and I don't know if this is accurate… but its possible that I would have only just thought about setting boundaries because somewhere between the initial conversation and the conversation we're discussing… well, some time between the two conversations I would have gotten scared of something I was feeling for the person I was setting the boundaries for… I guess."

"So…" James said, trying to summarize, "You're saying that if you were Lily, you would have said what she said because you might have felt that there was a possibility for you, or her, to care about me or something and she, or you, doesn't want to?"

Remus nodded. "Precisely."

James sighed. "Are all girls this complicated?"

Remus laughed quietly, shaking his head. "Nope. Only the ones worth your time, Prongs. Only the good ones."

* * *

Lily sat on the thick carpet next to Alice. 

Alice closed the book she was reading and looked up at Lily, smiling. "So", she said.

"So what?" Lily replied.

Alice rolled her eyes. "You know 'what'! You're forgetting that I happen to be the most well informed person at this school, m'dear. You've agreed to be friends with him, then?"

Lily giggled. "Alice, you really do know everything, don't you? Yes, we've agreed to be friends. Sort of. There are the stipulations."

"'Stipulations'?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, I've told him that I still don't believe any of his nonsense about how he'd 'never hurt me' and what not. I'm onto his games."

"Oh?"

Lily groaned. "I hate it when you say that! Why,_ why_, WHY are you 'oh'-ing me?"

"Well… okay, look: I don't think it's a game to him, Lily. I think James Potter would rather chew off his right arm hurt you. I _also_ think it would be a good idea to give the boy a chance."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Alice, please tell me you're not falling for the 'Potter Charm' routine?"

It was Alice's turn to roll her eyes.

"If James is charms people, it's because he _is_ charming. You can't just turn it off and on."

"He can", Lily said childishly.

Alice laughed in spite of herself. "You are _unbelievable_ sometimes, Evans."

"Hey, now, don't start with the last name business, Frankton… or should I say 'Longbottom'?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

Alice blushed. "Not quite yet, thank you."

Lily squealed with delight. "I'm so happy for you! Its about time!"

Alice giggled.

The six of them sat there around the fire laughing and sharing stories about the past two months until the last embers began to die.

When they finally decided to go to sleep, Charity and Sirius had already fallen asleep in each others' arms, and no one had enough heart to wake them; Alice went upstairs to the dormitory she shared with Lily, Charity, and a fourth girl by the name of Nichole Charlemagne; Remus bid James and Lily goodnight before heading up the stairs to the boys' dormitories; and once again, it seemed, Lily and James were alone.

Lily shifted her feet nervously. She had told James she would never be able to forget the hurt he had caused her for the simple reason that she was afraid she actually _would _forget and let herself fall for him again… and finding herself alone with him during the night in dark, fire-lit rooms was NOT helping.

"So", she said.

James cleared his throat and sat down in the same armchair he had been sitting in all night. "So… um, how about that joke Sirius told us?"

"Oh, yeah", Lily said forcing a laugh.

She looked at him looking at her. _Why am I being such a moron?_

"James - "

"Lily - "

They both blushed, embarrassed, as if the other knew what they were going to say and it was a secret.

Lily looked up first. "Yes?"

James glanced at her and looked back down quickly. 'I was just gonna say…"

She waited eagerly. _Why AM I so eager? What do I want him to say?_

_No,_ James thought_, You can't tell her that. She'll never forgive you._

"I, umm… I just wanted to say…" James felt beads of perspiration break out across his forehead. He could hear a voice (that sounded strangely like Sirius's voice) in the back of his mind shouting _Do it you wimp! Tell her you LOVE her!_

James swallowed hard. "I just wanted to say… Good night."

Lily's face fell. "Oh", she said, forcing a smile, "Yes, good night to you too, James."

James nodded tersely before dashing away to his dormitory.

Lily sat down in the chair he had just vacated and breathed deeply. "What's wrong with me?" she asked the ceiling. "I tell him I hate him, then toast him to new beginnings, then tell him that I still think he's a liar, and NOW I'm talking to the roof because I'm disappointed that he didn't say… something other than what he said", she finished lamely.

The truth was, she couldn't allow herself to finish that sentence with the words she had wanted to hear him say… To give those anonymous emotions and disjoined sounds a face and name was too much for Lily Evans tonight.

"You really need to make up your mind, Lils."

Lily turned her head so fast, she was sure she had pulled a muscle in her neck.

"Charity… you were AWAKE?" she yelled.

"Shhhh! Not so loud! You'll wake Sirius up! If you think _my_ having overheard is bad, you'd better be happy _he _wasn't awake to listen."

Lily stared at her, mortified. "How much did you hear?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"All of it… But in all fairness, I thought it would be less embarrassing if I just waited until it was over instead of getting up halfway through it. Sorry, Lily."

With effort, Lily took a deep breath. "It's not your fault."

"Seriously, though", Charity said, sitting in the armchair adjacent to Lily's, "You really DO need to make a decision, you know."

"About what?" Lily asked evasively.

Charity groaned. "Okay, Lily, you win. I'll let you sit here and pretend you don't know what I'm talking about; that you don't know that you're treating James like you said he treated you. It's too bad you were lying to me earlier."

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"You told me that I was right and you were acting like a baby and apologized. When people apologize, it usually means they'll stop doing what they were doing wrong. But not you. You're going to sit here and talk down to the only person who's trying to understand what's going on. Fine. But, I believed you when you said you were sorry, you know. And you weren't." She regarded Lily for a moment after she finished speaking before turning on her heel to go to bed.

"Charity - " Lily stared.

"What?" Charity said, eyes flashing as she wheeled about.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm taking it out on you… I didn't mean to. It's just that… I don't want to like him. I don't want to feel anything because I know he'll just do the same thing to me he did in fifth year", she said quietly, studying her feet.

Charity took a calming breath and looked at Lily, feeling exhausted. "It's okay, Lils. Come on, I think we need to go to bed. We're going to be really tired in the morning."

Lily nodded once and started to walk towards the stairs. "Wait. What about Sirius?' she asked suddenly.

Charity turned around and looked at her boyfriend, then walked over to where Sirius was sleeping and threw the blanket that was draped on the back of the sofa on top of him. She kissed him gently on the forehead and turned back to Lily, who was stifling laughter with her hand. "What?" Charity asked.

Lily pulled her fist out of her mouth. "You're just gonna leave him here?"

Charity nodded. "Yeah, he'll never get back to sleep if I wake him up. Trust me on this one."

"Or", Lily said, "Do you mean _you'll_ never get to sleep if you wake him up?" Lily suddenly pictured Sirius waking up and chasing Charity around the common room, trying to get her to snuggle and kiss him for the rest of the night.

Charity smiled guiltily. "No", she mumbled. "Let's go to bed, okay?"

Lily nodded and the two girls set quietly up the stairs to their dormitory, whispering about nothing important, just as a boywho had been listening inall eveningopened his left eye ever so slightly to check and make sure that the coast was clear.

* * *

James lay awake staring at the top of the canopy of his bed, mind racing with thoughts of Lily Evans. Tired though he was, he couldn't make himself go to sleep. 

_How can I get her to trust me? Why should she?_

_What if_, a slightly more prominent voice in the back of his mind said, _she'll never stop hating me?_

"Prongs!" an urgent, whispered voice said, "Oy! James! Are you awake?"

"Go away, Padfoot" James groaned. _What could he possibly want?_

"Oh good, you're awake", Sirius said as he tore open the curtains around James's bed and climbed in, sitting on the foot of the bed, "We got big news."

James propped himself up on his elbows, highly irritated. "I don't care. Go to sleep."

Sirius sighed. "Oh, alright. Too bad, though. You'd have loved to hear what Lily said about you just now."

James was instantly awake. "Lily? What?"

"Nope", Sirius said stretching. "I'm just gonna got to bed like you suggested, Head Boy."

In a flash James was up and holding Sirius's arms pinned by his sides. "What did Lily say?" he growled.

Sirius, instead of appearing threatened, chuckled. "Okay, mighty man, let go, I'll tell you!"

The two of them sat on opposite ends of James's bed, facing each other.

"Well" Sirius started, "They, that is to say Charity and Lily, thought I was asleep when I heard this, so I know it was the truth, not just something Lily made up. She thinks you'll never hear this."

He began explaining to him every detail of the conversation and argument he had witnessed.

"…Then she said 'I don't want to like him or feel anything for him because I just know he'll do what he did to me in fifth year.'"

James couldn't have heard better news. "So... so she likes me?"

Sirius shook his head. "If there's one thing I've learned about girls from Charity, it's that they always say exactly what they mean when they talk to other girls. She thinks she could fall for you, but she doesn't want to so she's trying to… what's the word Charity used? Oh, yeah, she's trying to _distance_ herself form you so she won't, like get hurt or anything."

"That's what Moony told me."

"How would Moony know? He overheard them talking too?"

"No, Lily told me something on the train this afternoon, that just because she was being nice to me didn't mean she believed that I was honest or something like that… I don't know. I told Remus what she said and he told me that it probably meant what you just said… I think."

"Well, Prongs, what're you going to do now?"

James shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I'll just have to try and get her to trust me."

"How're you going to do that?" Sirius asked, eyebrows knitted together.

"I don't know, mate… Well, what did you do to get Charity to trust you?"

"I don't know", Sirius said, shrugging, "I was just myself, I guess. She took awhile to come around though. She thought I was a, well, she thought I was a 'man-whore' to be quite frank, but she got to know the real me and decided I wasn't so bad… I think."

James thought about that. _The real me…_

"How do you show someone who you really are? I don't know… I act differently around her… She… She makes me want to be better than I am, I guess. Does that sound really stupid?"

"Yeah, but if it's the truth… girls like it when guys make themselves look all sentimentally stupid in front of them."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It's just how they are", Sirius said, yawning. "Well, my work here is done. I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow morning."

"Yeah", James said, "See you tomorrow."

_I never realized telling someone you love then could be so damn confusing_, James thought as he closed his eyes, welcoming the heavy sleep that overtook his body.

**

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I think it's time for a cliffy... what about you guys? Yes, yes, I think a cliffy is in oreder next chapter... hmm... okay, thanks for reading and stay tuned for the next installment of the James and Lily saga... oh and REVIEW! I'm going to wait a while before replying to reviews again... when I do, I'll do it on the review board, okay? kisses and cookies to everyone! **

**BrittanyRose, the original 'Fleur'**


	5. Remarkably Heated Conversations

**Author's note: A big hug and thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter... the response was much larger than I had expected! I've just finished this and couldn't wait to get it up! It's not the best, I don't think, but I feel strangely accomplished anyway. The end's better than the start, in any case, I think. But, as always, Read, Review, and Enjoy (but especially review)!**

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**Legal Disclaimer: _See Prologue._**

* * *

_This Chapter is Dedicated to Ananymously Morgan_.

**Chapter 4:**

**Remarkably Heated**

**C****onversations**

The next morning, the girls in Lily's dormitories spent an hour or so fighting over the bathroom mirror, while the Marauders spent that hour sleeping as late as possible.

The atmosphere at breakfast was tense to say the least. Lily gave out about five detentions before she had even gotten to her seat. Charity looked like she was in a rather foul mood as well, and when Sirius tried to kiss her mouth, she turned a cheek to him instead. James was staring off into space, as if he hadn't slept at all the night before, and Sirius was oddly chipper, even for him, and this was _especially_ odd after being refused a kiss. Remus seemed to be the only one acting normal, or, as normal as one can act when their friends are all behaving like lunatics.

As Alice made her way from Frank's seat at the Hufflepuff table to join her housemates, she seemed to notice something awry and sat on the outside of the group, throwing confused glances at Charity and Lily from time to time.

* * *

The next few days seemed to go like that. Hushed conversations that ended abruptly as soon as someone from the opposite gender entered the room, furtive looks were being thrown during classes and at meal times, and the Marauders were positively sick of it. 

"Prongs, you've got to snap out of it, my friend. There's a full moon coming up in a couple of weeks, you know", Sirius said quietly to James during one transfiguration class.

"I can't go", James replied simply.

"And why not?" Sirius demanded.

"Because I've got Head Boy and Girl crap to do over full moon weekend with Lily."

"Ahh", Sirius said knowingly, "There's the magic word… So, have you thought about what you're going to say to her? Or maybe when you're going to speak to her? Or, oh, here's an idea: maybe you should consider making eye contact with her! Whadaya think?"

"Shut up, Padfoot", James said, teeth clenched.

Sirius sighed and leaned his chair back on two legs, looking over at Charity and sending her a kiss. James looked over and saw Lily, who was sitting next to Charity, looking right at him. She looked away with a start.

"How can I make eye contact with her if she keeps acting as though I'm invisible every time she sees me?" he asked himself glumly.

* * *

Lily and James were forced to spend, as Professor McGonagall had promised, obscene amounts of time together over the next few days. Patrolling was becoming a very bothersome thing, especially since Filch, the janitor, and his cat Mrs. Norris kept popping up all over the place, as if trying to find the Heads doing something wrong. 

The Quarterly meeting with the Prefects proved to be an utter waste of time, as there was nothing to discuss. The only thing that seemed to be hassle-free for the time being was planning the Hogsmede trips and the Christmas Ball.

James couldn't help but smile at how Lily got so excited when she talked about the Ball. It made her seem like a little girl talking about her dream wedding; she sounded so innocent.

"And I think the faeries that they usually use on the Christmas trees should be used as lighting… like in a glass case on each table… What do you think?" she asked James.

He loved these nights in their office. Lily, while much more nice to him in general, always seemed to be much more relaxed when associating James with work.

"I think it's a wonderful idea. So you want a white color scheme, basically?"

"Yes, I think it beats a red and green Christmas color scheme, you?"

James laughed. "I agree totally. But what about a theme?"

Lily stopped smiling suddenly. Her face dropped and she looked absolutely panic stricken. "A theme! Oh, NO, I've forgotten a theme… what about… what about, umm…. Oh I don't know! The possibilities are endless here! At muggle dances, themes are always something stupid, like dress up from your favorite television show - "

"Television?"

" – Muggle contraption for entertainment… people in a box making you laugh, its not important… but in the wizarding world… my, what if the dance is bad? Then everyone will know it was my fault!"

James put a calming hand over Lily's form across the table. "Lily, it's going to be great, I know it. Don't worry about a thing, okay? We've got plenty of time."

Lily nodded, gently removing her hand from beneath James's. "Thanks, James."

"Okay, what we really need to decide are the Hogsmede weekends."

James checked a calendar on the desk.

"How about we set the date for the weekend after next?"

"I'd love to", Lily said.

"Oka- wait. You'd love… Lily?"

"Yes?" she said, looking up.

"What did you just say?" James asked, confused.

"I said that's a lovely idea", she said without blinking.

James simply stared at her, mouth agape. "Err…"

"The Hogsmede trip? Weekend after next? It's a lovely idea. Before it gets too cold."

James nodded, but couldn't shake the desire to beat his head against a brick wall. _I could've sworn she'd just said she'd love to… does that mean she'd love to go with…? Or… no, wait, she didn't even say… Wishful thinking._

"So… Is that everything?" Lily asked suddenly.

"Uhh", James mumbled, still confused, "Almost. We've got patrols tomorrow night starting at eight o'clock..."

"Okay", Lily said, a little too cheerfully, "Well, I'll see you then. Bye."

"Well, wait! We've got to - "

But it was too late; She had already run out the door.

" – clean up", James finished, dejectedly. "Great. What the hell did I do to her now?"

* * *

Lily walked quickly down a deserted corridor, hoping that James wouldn't follow her. She knew what she had said. She just couldn't believe she had said it. 

_It was like I was agreeing to go out with him… And he didn't even ask me! What is wrong with me?_ She wondered.

* * *

Between classes, remembering the embarrassing and potentially traumatizing utterance that sprung from her mouth, and Charity bombarding her with questions about the night before the next day, Lily had completely forgotten about patrols that night. 

She had just finished her transfiguration homework in the solitude of the library and was heading up to the common room when she met a disgruntled James waiting outside the portrait for her.

"Where have you been?" he asked as politely as he could.

"The library, not that its any of your business" she replied angrily. How dare he question her? "Why are you questioning me?"

"Because you were supposed to have met with me a half hour ago to patrol, remember?"

The cross expression on her face melted away instantly. "Oh, James, I'm sorry! I forgot all about it!"

"Yes, well, try and be more careful, will you? McGonagall would flip if she knew we were heading out this late."

James began walking down the corridor, and Lily had to sprint to catch up to him. "Hey! Wait!"

He slowed his pace slightly.

Lily looked at his profile. "You know, I never knew you to be such a stickler for the rules."

"I'm not", he replied, not looking at her. "I just don't want anyone to be disappointed in me for not doing my job. I'm not completely without self-respect, you know."

Lily felt ashamed of herself for having said such a thing. _Wait… this is James Potter. Since when does he need anyone to feel bad for him? Snap out of it!_

They walked on in silence. "So", he said, "Did you finish your potions essay yet?"

Lily smiled. "Yep! I've been done with it since the day it was assigned. I think I do rather well in potions."

James smirked. "Professor Slughorn seems to thinks so, anyway."

Lily slapped him playfully on the arm. "So what? He likes me, big deal."

James stopped suddenly. "_Oh! Lily Evans! Such brilliance, such imagination_", he said, imitating Slughorn, "_such pizzazz, oh, I love you!_"

Lily and James, who had both been laughing, stopped abruptly and looked at each other. They both blushed, but did not look away from one another.

"Listen! I think I hear Filch coming. Let's get a move on, okay?" James said suddenly.

Lily nodded fervently. "Okay, good idea."

* * *

The rest of the night went without incident. Lily and James returned to the common room somewhere around two am. Lily went up to bed, but James, who's mind was restless, took a seat in front of the fire just as Charity came in the portrait hole. 

James looked over to her, surprised, although not as surprised as she was. "Hey… what're you doing out so late?"

"Oh… I was actually looking for Lily. I figured I could get away with it seeing as how I'm still a prefect…"

"She's just gone up to bed." James said, still facing her.

"Okay, then, thanks", Charity said, titling her head to the side. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Why are you still up?"

"Me? I'm just thinking… I'm not that tired." James said evasively.

"Uh-huh", Charity replied, walking over to the chair next to the one James was occupying. "Whatcha thinking about?"

James looked away. "Nothing important."

"Oh, come on, I'm not stupid, James. I learned how to tell when people are lying to me ages ago. What's going on with you lately? Sirius told me you're not around much anymore."

"Did he now?", James asked venomously. He didn't appreciate being talked about.

"Yes, he did", Charity said, quite unabashed, "and I find that very interesting. You see, I'm her best friend. I know there's something going on with Lily as well, but she's not going to talk to me. I know she won't. What I need is for you to tell me – truthfully, now – if there's something going on with the two of you that's making you both act so… distant from everyone."

"There is absolutely nothing going on between Lily and I", James answered truthfully.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Then perhaps you can tell me why she's always looking at you when you're not watching. Or maybe you can tell me why you're always smiling at her, even though you never speak to her in front of other people. Or maybe you can tell me why - "

"Look, Charity, I don't know why, okay? Everyone in this school knows that I've had a thing for Lily since the first time I saw her. If something's different, its not because of me."

Charity's eyes flashed. "Shut up James. It _is_ because of you. You know, you broke Lily's heart last year, ignoring her like you did."

"I was just doing what she wanted!"

"James, she wanted you to stop asking her out. She wanted you to stop stalking her. She wanted you to act like a normal person, not some egocentric git. She _didn't_ want you to stop talking to her or to ignore her existence! Especially after that day during O.W.Ls! She felt like you were leading her on, pretending to like her, and when she finally gave you the time of day she thought you decided she wasn't fun anymore… like you were just after her to prove you could have whomever you wanted! For the chase… you made her feel like she wasn't worth your time or effort to be friends with."

"Because I thought if I was her friend and told her how I really felt about her, she'd tell me that I was trying to use our friendship to my benefit; that she'd tell me I was taking advantage of her or something else stupid you girls like to say!"

"That's ridiculous James!" Charity said, firing up at once.

"Is it!" he yelled, standing up, "OR is it ridiculous for me to think that a girl who'd rejected me for five years would suddenly see that I was really adored her and she would throw her arms around me and we'd ride off into the sunset? I think that _that_ is ridiculous. Lily isn't one of these stupid girls around here that likes me, or thinks they do, because I'm good a Quidditch and popular! She's not shallow like that. I knew I wouldn't be able to charm her, so I left her well alone! Did Lily ever stop to think that maybe I had genuine feelings for her and that just being her friend all of a sudden might be hard for me? NO! She didn't!

"But all you girls can do is point the finger at me, like I'm the big bad wolf and I broke Lily's heart! Let me tell you something Charity; Lily Evans had been breaking my heart for the seventh year running, but I don't have my mates running after her, wagging their fingers in her face! I'm sorry, okay? I'm bloody _sorry_ I hurt her, but I got tired of getting hurt myself! So forgive me if I'm being _egocentric_, but I couldn't stand idly by and watch the girl I'm _in love_ with reject me anymore!"

James was breathing so heavy he felt as though his lungs might explode, while Charity did nothing but sit in wide-eyed shock.

He began to feel very ashamed of himself, the way he had screamed at this girl who was only trying to help him out, but he felt better having said all of that than he had in a long time.

Charity blinked a few times, and then attempted to speak again. "James… did you mean what you just said?"

"I meant all of it, but which bit are you referring to?"

"When you said you loved her…"

James swallowed hard. _No point in trying to deny it, _he thought. "Yeah, I meant it… I didn't realize I had said it out loud though."

Charity nodded slowly, wheels in her head turning faster and faster. "Okay then. If you meant everything you just said, and you want to… I'd be more than willing to help you out… I mean, Lily deserves that… and I guess you do, too, you know… Happiness and love and whatnot…"

James sat back down slowly, processing what she had just said. "You mean it?"

Charity smiled. "Of course I do!"

James nodded. "Charity? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you love Sirius?"

She tilted her head again. "Of course I do… I think... I think I love him more than I thought I could love anyone. It's the real thing."

"Then you know how much it means to me that you're going to help me, right? Because I love Lily. I always have. I need to feel what you feel for Sirius."

Charity grinned. "Does Sirius ever talk about me?"

"Only all the time. He's a different person now. He really loves you. You two are lucky."

"Yeah, I know… and you will be too. Lily can't hold out on love. She's a sucker for romance… you know the whole Fairy Tale thing the muggle children love, Prince Charming and Cinderella…"

"Fairy Tale?" he asked suddenly, very interested.

"Yeah…" Charity said slowly.

James grinned, jumped up and hugged Charity so tight she thought she'd die of suffocation. "You've just given me the best idea… I hope she likes it. Can you convince her to go to Hogsmede with me? Or at least with me, you, and Sirius?"

"I… I guess", Charity said, laughing.

"Great! You're the best," James said. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" He called, running up the stairs to his dormitory.

Charity shook her head, smiling, as she got out of her chair and started up to bed. "I _am_ the best", she reflected quietly. "Lily better be happy she has such a good friend."

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**Okay, there we go! I felt strangely accomplished after this chapter seeing as how it wasn't that good... But pretend it was good and leave me some fabulous reviews, okay! Anyway, I've notice my words are sometimes being clumped up likethis... its not me, its the site! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, if not, I'm so sorry, I'll do better... my muse has left me all alone for a few days, so i'm going to be a little slower updating I think... But your kind words can keep me alive! Thanks to all who reviewed last chappy, I'll be getting back to you! Kisses and oreoes for all!**

**BrittanyRose, the original 'Fleur'**


	6. Plans, Big Plans

**A/N: Okay, I know I didn't wait very long for reviews before this chapter. I hope some of you will still review the last chappy, but I want reviews on this one more! I know its terribly short - much, much shorter than you've come to expect form me, I'm sure, but there's a reason, I swear it! Thank you to those who did review last time, again, i'll be geting back to you guys as sson as possible! Please Enjoy!**

**REVIEW!

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Legal Disclaimer: _See Prologue._ **

Legal Disclaimer:

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_This Chapter is Dedicated to X.Little.Black.Cat.X_

**Chapter 5:**

**Plans...**

**Big Plans**

James drifted off to sleep that night, once again, thinking of Lily, of a way to make her see that he cared for her. Charity had given him an idea… _She's a sucker for Fairy Tales…_

…_Fairy Tales…_

* * *

Meanwhile, there was a battle waging outside the safety of the castle walls. 

Mysterious deaths were an ordinary occurrence; Young, healthy people passed away for no apparent reason; Buildings collapsed unexpectedly; Some began fearing for the sanity of their loved ones who were acting strangely, very strangely, very, very suddenly; Small children woke in the night, screaming about zombies and evil monsters in their closets and under their beds - and instead of telling them there were no such things, parents began checking the house out of fear in spite of themselves.

These were dark times in the wizarding world. Students whispered rumors at meal times, and lines that weren't there before began etching themselves in teachers' faces. If, during the morning post, a student received a letter only to run crying hysterically out of the Great Hall, there were no questions as to why.

Students also began subscribing to the newspaper, not because it was interesting, but because it contained names of those who had been killed since the last edition. Grim faced and frighten, they opened it up each morning to either relief or horror.

Several students in James and Lily's year dropped out of school to start new lives, while they knew they'd still be alive to do so. Reckless behavior was not frowned upon as much as it was admired these days… these dark days.

* * *

"Have you noticed that Sirius has been spending quite a bit of time with Charity recently?" Remus asked James quietly one afternoon. 

"Well, they _are _dating one another, Moony", James said.

"Yes, yes, I know that… But don't you think it's a bit odd that full moon is next weekend and he's not trying to plan out Saturday night?"

"Well", James said, honestly, "Yeah, it is a bit strange. But at least he's not trying to jump out of the astronomy tower like that poor third year."

Lupin pressed his fingertips underneath his chin. "I think Sirius is acting a bit… desperate, though. Not like himself."

James laughed slightly. "Remus, look: Everyone is acting differently nowadays. And maybe Sirius has grown up some. Charity's a good girl, she hasn't got him under a love potion or anything."

Remus smiled. "I suppose not… I just hope he doesn't do anything… rash."

"What could he possibly do?" James asked skeptically.

Remus shrugged. "I don't know. I _never_ know with him."

James laughed, knowing this was partly true. _Moony's just mollycoddling him_, he thought to himself.

But James couldn't shake the feeling that there might be some reason in what Remus Lupin had said. When had he ever been wrong before?

* * *

Sirius Black began to realize that life was dreadfully short. One of the only family members he'd ever actually liked, his Uncle Alphard, passed away, leaving Sirius a rather hefty amount or gold. Sirius understood that there were only so many chances one had to do the things you felt you needed to do in order to live a full life. 

While sitting alone in the common room, one late, late night a few days later, he decided to mention this to Charity.

"You know, I've been thinking…"

"Oh?" she asked, smiling, "Well, you'd be careful there, tiger. We wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

Sirius laughed. "That's not funny."

"Yes it is", she replied, still grinning, "and you know it."

Sirius was still smiling along, but shook his head. Charity saw and recognized this as a signal to be serious. She inched closer to him and held his hands within her's. "What's wrong, baby?"

Sirius shook his head slightly, looking down at their hands intertwined. "There's so little time… So little… You know I love you, right?"

Charity smiled. "Of course I do. You know I love you too, don't you?"

Sirius looked up. "Yeah. I know. I want you to know that I'll never leave you. No matter what happens, I want you to know that."

Charity looked somber. "Sirius, I don't want you to leave me. I don't ever want to be without you… I…" she began to finish her sentence, but couldn't.

Sirius took one of his hands and tilted her chin up so that their eyes met. "What is it?"

"It's just that… well… would you think I was terribly silly if I told you I was scared?"

She looked at him, but didn't wait for a reply. "I'm so scared, Sirius. I'm so scared I'll never see my family again or that I'll never grow up and get married… or have my own family… I'm just… I sound like an idiot, don't I?" she asked, lips trembling.

Sirius took her in his arms. "No, of course not. I'm scared too, I am. Just don't tell anyone", he said, smile evident in his voice, "It's bad for my image."

Charity giggled slightly, trying to hold back tears. "I love you so much", she whispered. "Promise me you won't leaveme?"

Sirius swallowed hard. "Charity", he said, pulling her arms length from him, "I promise you that no matter what happens, we'll be together. To the end. I'll be by your side. I swear to you."

Charity fell back into his arms. "Good. Thank you."

Sirius patted the back of her head, holding her there for as long as he could, never wanting this moment to end. "I'll make sure we're together for good sooner than you think. I promise, baby. I love you so much", he whispered, "So, so much."

As Charity fell asleep in his arms, Sirius began to think long and hard about what that gold he'd come into could do for him… and her.

* * *

Lily heard charity come in that night somewhere around three or four a.m. In the silence, she could have sworn she heard a sob; but when she pulled the curtains back, Charity had already crawled beneath the covers. 

The thought of calling out to her had occurred to Lily, but then she thought _No. If she wants to talk about something, she'll bring it up._

But Charity did not bring it up later that morning at breakfast. Nor did she even speak to Lily. Or anyone else. She sat by Sirius that morning, quietly eating her toast.

"Does Sirius seem to be acting funny?" Lily asked James that night as they were patrolling.

A flicker of surprise crossed his feature as he spoke. "You know, I don't think he is, but you're not the first person who seems to think that. Moony – or Remus, sorry – was asking me about that a couple of days ago as well."

"Oh", Lily said, "I was just asking because Charity has been acting weird… I thought Sirius would be too… I guess there's no reason to think that, though…"

James shrugged. "He's acting different, but his Uncle just died, so…"

Lily looked up as they turned a corner. "Oh? I though Sirius hated his whole family."

James shook his head. "He hates most of them, but there are a few he likes… His cousin Andromeda, the one in Ravenclaw? He likes her and he liked his uncle, Alphard, as well. There's not many."

"Poor guy", Lily muttered. She hated her sister, but she couldn't imagine having her whole family be a bunch of assholes.

"Yeah", James said in agreement. "But he doesn't dwell on it, really. Not a big loss in his book."

"Charity told me he really likes it at your place."

James grinned. "My parents practically adopted him. They love him. He loves them. It's a win-win situation."

"You're a good friend", Lily said.

James blushed. "Thanks", he mumbled.

They walked on in relative silence, occasionally punctuated by one of them pointing out a painting or something of the nature. It would have, normally, been an awkward silence, but tonight, it seemed to feel right to Lily.

"Hey", James said, "You going into Hogsmede with anyone?"

Lily was immediately on the defensive. "No, but I don't want to go with anyone", she said, hoping to nip the inevitable question in the butt as fast as possible.

James laughed. "Don't worry Lily, I'm not asking you out. I was just wondering if you wanted to come with me and Sirius and Charity."

Lily couldn't help herself. "You're tagging along on their date?"

James looked impressed. "Why, Evans, why would you say something so snide to me?"

Lily giggled. "Sorry."

James waved a hand. "No worries. But, no, I'm not tagging along. Charity made the Quidditch team. She's one of the Chasers. So technically, you'd be tagging along with us", he said playfully.

"Oh, yeah", Lily said.

"Some friend you are, not remembering something like that" James said jokingly.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Charity told me that she'd made it, but she's not around much anymore, so I wasn't thinking about it."

"Suuuure", James said.

"You'd better stop before I hex you", Lily said holding out her wand, smiling.

James held up his hands. "Sorry!" he yelped, playing along.

Lily laughed as she put her wand away and James over exaggerated his mock relief sigh.

"You know", she said, suddenly, "you're not so bad anymore, really."

James looked over at her, surprised. "What makes you say that?"

Lily shrugged. "You're just… different. You're not so full of yourself anymore, I guess."

"Oh, thanks", James said sarcastically.

Lily laughed. "I mean it… you're not bad, Potter... You're almost nice company sometimes."

James was hurt by this, but looked over and saw the embarrassed smirk tugging at the sides of her mouth, and knew, that Lily Evans had just come closer to telling him she liked him than she ever had before. There was a grin on his face for the rest of the night that Snape couldn't have wiped off.

…_Fairy Tales…

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**Author's note: Short, I know, but I didn't want to draw this chapter out too long... I needed some of these things to be placed in the story rather early. Anyway, please review! I know I'm getting a ton of hits... Hiding from me, you are...**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave me nice reviews! Kisses and Oreos!**

**BrittanyRose**

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	7. A Cry in the Night

**A/N: Hey guys, I'm so sorry about the delay. I've just started college, so things have been hectic, but I'm back now! I'm posting today and have already got my rough draft for the next chapter written out. I hope everyone enjoys this, and, as always, Read, Review, & Enjoy!

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**Legal Disclaimer: _See Prologue.

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**Review!

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_This Chapter is dedicated to terrifictypingtrio._

**Chapter six:**

**A Cry in the Night**

"…It's going to be so much fun!" Charity said to Lily somewhere close to a week later. It was Friday and, of course, Charity was referring to the first Hogsmede trip scheduled for the next day. Lily was beginning to wish she'd never agreed to go.

For one thing, despite Charity's bubbly exterior that evening, Lily knew that her best friend was fighting a losing battle to some severe depression. She also knew that the only way to help was to wait for Charity to bring it up on her own; something she had shown absolutely no inclination to do. Basically what that meant was that tomorrow, Charity would either be not speaking and attended to by Sirius or would be trying to force herself to have fun and Sirius would try to draw out of her the problem. No matter the outcome, Lily would have no one to talk to – except James.

This would not have been much of a problem if things had been as they were a week ago. But they weren't. Not even a little.

In the past few days Lily's feelings had changed. Drastically. Not completely, but drastically none the less.

Every time she saw another girl looking at him, she felt the need to hex said girl. This was exceptionally strange seeing as how Lily was still reprimanding James for hexing Snape and she did NOT like feeling like a hypocrite; and even this didn't bother her anymore.

When he smiled at her now she felt her face turn red and found that she didn't care if he noticed or not.

She noticed herself staring at him often. Too often to pretend it was just harmless glances.

She did NOT, however, trust James Potter. Not completely. She felt it was too hard to trust someone that had broken her heart. But she wanted to so badly, and she could actually admit it to herself. She just couldn't admit it to anyone else.

Therefore, she found the prospect of spending an entire day trying not to admit it to _him_ absolutely sickening. Even more sickening than the fact that she, in some little way, _wanted_ to admit it to him.

Lily, who was currently lying across her bed reading, looked up at Charity, who was twisting this way and that in front of a full length mirror, as she tried on outfits to wear the next day. Lily smiled. "Charity that looks amazing", she said. It was true: Charity was wearing a turquoise V-neck sweater and a short corduroy skirt accompanied by tall, slinky brown boots that added a full five inches onto her short frame. "That shirt really brings out your eyes."

Charity, however, looked unsure. "You don't think that I look funny being… well, _tall_?" she asked.

Lily laughed. "I'm sure." Charity smiled. "Sirius is absolutely going to _die_ when he sees you tomorrow."

Charity's smile flickered at these words.

_Something in her eyes is different…_ a voice in Lily's head commented.

"Thanks", Charity mumbled as she hurriedly dashed into the bathroom to change out of her clothes.

Lily stared at the closed door for a moment, wondering what she said that could have made Charity act so strangely, but before she could draw any conclusions, the dormitory door flew open to reveal a very distraught Alice Frankton.

Lily sat straight up. "Alice, honey, what's wrong?"

Charity came out of the bathroom in her dressing gown at that moment and, upon seeing Alice's face, ushered her to Lily's bed where the three of them sat. Alice sniffled. She had the distinct look about her of a person who had just finished crying.

"You guys, Nichole's leaving Hogwarts."

"What!" they yelped in unison. Lily looked around, and sure enough, Nichole's belongings were gone. Nichole had been the fourth girl who lived in the dormitory with Lily, Charity and Alice.

"Mr. Charlemagne, you know how he was an Auror and all… well he was murdered by Voldemort's lot early this morning. Her mother just came for her a couple of hours ago."

Lily looked around, ashamedly, wondering how she could have overlooked he fact that none of Nichole's personal effects were there anymore. "Why didn't we know as well?" Lily asked, not meeting Alice's eyes.

Alice shrugged slightly. "I was in here reading – I think that the two of you were working on Charms in the library – she came in here and she was obviously very upset, and when I asked her what was wrong, she started crying and told me that she was leaving Hogwarts because her father was… well, her mother needed her home and she wanted to be with her family while she still could – and, oh it was so horrible. She's only just left. I went down with her to tell her goodbye… I've just been standing there with her while her mother spoke to Dumbledore privately…"

Alice continued speaking, her face contorting with anger and sorrow, as Lily looked over to Charity through red eyes. Charity was not crying as the other two girls were. She was sitting stock-still with wide, terrified eyes. A chill ran down Lily's spine as she saw the blank expression on her face.

Charity stood up suddenly, making Alice jump. Without a word, she walked over to her trunk and pulled out a long slip dress which she pulled on over her dressing gown. She was shaking as she tried to slip her shoes on her feet.

"Charity, where are you going?" Alice asked, stunned.

Charity did not answer. She walked towards the door, grabbing a hooded sweater from the desk near the exit, muttering under her breath, "Not possible… I saw… Why… How… Not possible…"

Lily felt the same familiar chill she was beginning to associate with her best friend run down her neck at these words pouring from her mouth, seemingly of their own accord. "Want some company, Hon?" Lily asked.

"Yes, we'll come along", Alice offered kindly.

Still not looking at them, Charity shook her head vigorously as she searched the desk, finally grabbing a tattered looking journal, and stumbled out of the room, still mumbling, tears flowing freely down her face.

Alice and Lily looked at each other, dumbstruck.

"I hope she's alright", Alice said, every syllable dripping with concern.

Lily nodded in agreement, not really hearing her words. She was thinking fast, phrases like _What was she talking about? 'Not possible…' What's not possible…? Something's wrong with her. Something's _very_ wrong with her…_

But the one thing that her mind kept repeating, despite all her worries for Charity's behavior, was_ First, find James.

* * *

_

Moments later, Lily was flying down the stair case to the common room. When she hit the carpet, she noticed, much to her dismay, that there were at least fifty people milling about. _Of course it's full_, she thought lamely, _Now what?_

She had had every intention of marching up the stairs of the Boys dormitories where James's room was, but she couldn't very well do that now. It wasn't proper for people to see the Head Girl behaving like a hormonal teenager, even if that wasn't what she was doing. She racked her brain, trying to figure out how she could find him, then: "Lily?"

Lily wheeled around at the sound of the voice saying her name and found her self face to face with Peter Pettigrew. "Are you okay?" he asked, worried.

Lily sighed with relief. She grabbed him by his shoulders. "Peter, do you know where James is?"

He looked at her quizzically. "Uh, why?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Peter, please, it's really important."

He scrunched up his forehead, thinking, the same painfully confused expression still planted firmly on his face. "I think he may be in the Heads' office…"

Lily smiled and threw her arms around him, exclaiming "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" at the top of her lungs before turning and racing out of the portrait hole, leaving Peter alone, intensely more confused than he had been yet that evening.

* * *

Lily ran towards the Heads' office, thoughts of Charity's face and words swimming around in her mind. She halted in front of a tapestry depicting a handsome boy and very pretty girl sitting on either side of a lion. Through her gasps for air, she managed to mutter the word 'Majestic'. At once the tapestry split down the middle, revealing a large oak door bearing a handsome "H" carved into it. She hurled herself inside.

"James?" she called out.

Immediately, somewhere to her left she heard a great rustling. She turned to find him gathering many pieces of parchment in front of them, as if hiding them from Lily's view. He hurriedly waved his wand over them and they disappeared, leaving behind only a very nervous James Potter.

"Hey, Lily, what are you doing here?" he asked, voice taunt and jumpy.

She considered, for a moment, asking him what he was trying to hide from her, but instead got right to the point. "I need your help. There's something not right… With Charity, I mean – she ran off somewhere and I need to find her…" She launched into an explanation of her best friend's behavior, including the strange words she had been saying. "So, do you think you could possibly help me? I know its sounds strange, but I thought if anyone could help, it was you, since you're Head Boy and all and won't get into trouble for being out ad all…" she said her voice shaking.

James did not, however, laugh at her like she had expected him to. He didn't tell her that she was over reacting, or that she needed to butt out of Charity's business. Instead, he looked very concerned. "Yeah, of course, let's go."

James walked hurriedly, Lily following at a trot until she realized he was tracing her steps back the way she had just came. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"To the common room."

"James", she started, aggravated, "She _left_ the common room. I doubt she's back in there."

He waited a moment before replying. "I know but… well, you're just going to have to trust me, okay?"

Lily was about to say 'no', that she wasn't 'just going to trust' him, but she couldn't form the words to do so. Instead, she heard herself say "Okay."

A few moments later, they had climbed in the common room and James had walked away form her without a word and over to Peter Pettigrew, who was practicing chess off in a corner. He looked up at James in surprise when James leaned over and whispered into his ear. He then shot Lily a look, seeming more baffled than ever, before whispering back to James.

He nodded and bounded up the stairs to the boys' dormitories as Lily stood alone and impatient.

* * *

James Potter flew through the door to the room the four Marauders shared and began throwing things out of Remus Lupin's trunk. Finally, after about five minutes, he pulled out a piece of blank parchment. He had been afraid Sirius had taken it with him to go visit Remus at the Shrieking Shack – it _was_ the full moon after all – but, thankfully, he hadn't.

James took out his wand and tapped the piece of parchment, saying "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Suddenly, the blank piece of parchment was not blank anymore. A map of the entirety of Hogwarts appeared where before there had been nothing. What was particularly amazing about this map was that there were hundreds upon hundreds of black dots milling about. He hurriedly searched the map for a particular little black dot, finding it seconds later. He felt rather proud of himself for locating this particular black dot in a sea of black dots as he placed his finger on the name 'Charity Miller'. If he wasn't mistaken, and he knew he wasn't, she was in the kitchens. James briefly wondered why there was something so terribly wrong with Charity being in the kitchens, but remembered Lily's face when she had found him.

He knew, inside, that it really didn't matter what Lily wanted form him, that he'd give her anything she wanted, but he was glad to be helping out Charity as well – or, at least, he hoped that was what he was doing.

He grabbed his school bag and dumped all of his school books out of it as he turned to his own trunk and began pulling things out of it, strewing them all over the floor. He pulled out something that resembled a large, silvery blanket. _Just in case_, he thought to himself, as he stuffed it into his newly emptied school bag. He tapped the Marauder's Map, as he called it, and said "Mischief managed" as he tore from the room, making a mental vow to clean up when he returned.

* * *

A short while later, Lily saw James return, slinging a bag over his shoulder and pocketing a piece of parchment.

"Let's go", he said, sweeping past her towards the exit. Lily followed, still extremely annoyed that he had felt the need to keep her waiting on him just so he could grab his school bag. Lily couldn't help but think of how Charity could be anywhere in the castle by now, all alone. Judging by the way she had been acting, Lily thought to herself that she wasn't entirely sure Charity could be trusted alone, but felt immediately disgusted with herself for thinking such a thing.

James was walking quickly down corridors, following a very set path, as Lily trotted after him. "Now where are we going?" she asked. She was starting to think that this had been a bad idea, to go gallivanting through the castle with James.

James glanced back at her. "To the kitchens", he answered.

"Why?" Lily asked. She didn't have anything better to suggest, but for some reason, she thought that going to the kitchens was a bit ridiculous.

James stopped dead causing Lily to run into him. He turned around and caught her as she fell. When she was standing up right, he looked at her long and hard before answering. In his head, there was a mental was waging.

"I just thought it would be a good place to start", he lied. _She knows I'm lying_, he thought panicky.

In his rush to help her, James hadn't considered that Lily would ask him why he chose to got to the place that he had seen Charity in on the map. The Marauders had worked three long years on that map and he refused to tell anyone about it, not even Lily Evans.

Luckily for him, she appeared to have been pacified by his less than satisfactory reply, for she merely shrugged.

They walked on, side by side now, Lily throwing James questioning glances along the way.

They finally arrived in front of a painting depicting a bowl of fruit. James extended his finger and tickled, so it seemed to Lily, a pear in the bowl. To Lily's great surprise, the pear giggled – positively _giggled_ – and the painting swung open, much like the painting in Gryffindor Tower, to reveal the entrance.

James extended an arm, helping Lily inside. The smells of puddings and pumpkin juice hovered on the air within the rooms they had just entered, and Lily knew that they were now in the kitchens. Having never been there herself, she was absolutely amazed when, after James had joined her, twenty or so house elves surrounded them, chattering excitedly.

James laughed and greeted them all – yes, _all_ of them, to Lily's disbelief – by name.

Lily looked around hopefully, but did not see Charity anywhere. She hadn't really expected to, but… Well, there was always hope. She immediately began to worry again. _Where could she be? Merlin, I hope she's okay._

When she looked back down, the elves were now attempting to press platters of cakes and finger sandwiches upon them. Lily couldn't help but smile for a moment, but spoke up above the continual babble.

"I'm terribly sorry to bother you all", she said. The elves all bowed down to her shouting protests about how she wasn't bothering them, and to please allow them to be of any help they could. "Yes, yes, thank you, but I was wondering if - "

James cut her off. "Did any of you see a pretty blonde girl come down here to visit you all?" he asked politely.

Several of the elves began bobbing up and down excitedly, squeaking out affirmative answers.

"Oh, yes, Master and Missus!" one particularly small elf called Mimsy answered. "She came for a cup of tea, she did. Wanted leaves, she did, not a bag, oh no! Very nice she was."

"Did she say anything else?" Lily asked.

Mimsy clapped her small hands together in glee. "Oh yes, missus. She asked if she could keep the tea cup! Was very polite, she was, so Mimsy says 'Of course you cans, Missus!' Very polite she was."

"Was that all?" James asked.

Mimsy's ears drooped. "Yes Master, that was all she says. Mimsy is sorry, she is. Mimsy is bad elf, who cannot help – "

"You were too helpful, Mimsy!" Lily exclaimed, bending down. "Very helpful. Thank you so much."

Mimsy smiled again at once. "Oh, you is welcome Missus, you is!" she cried happily.

James grinned at Lily. "Well", he said, "it was nice seeing yo0u all again. I'll be back very soon."

The elves all bowed low and backed away as James and Lily exited.

"What would she want with a tea cup?" Lily asked when they were back outside the kitchens.

James shrugged. "I don't know. Stay right here for a minute. I'll be right back."

Before Lily could object, he had rounded a nearby corner. Aggravated though she was Lily remained, grudgingly, as he had asked her to.

She found, to her pleasure, that she didn't have to wait long; less than a minute later, James rounded the same corner, stuffing the same piece of parchment Lily had seen him holding in the common room back in his pocket. She eyed the pocket curiously.

"What is - " she started, pointing at his pocket, but once again, he cut her off by grabbing her outstretched hand and saying "Let's try the astronomy tower."

The randomness of this suggestion deterred Lily from asking the question she had wanted to ask. Instead she asked a question that was becoming quite familiar to her when she was in James's company: "Why?"

"Hey, Lils, just trust me, okay?" he said, smiling warmly down at her.

Lily felt her stomach filling with butterflies and nodded. _He_ was _right about the kitchens_, she thought.

They started towards the astronomy tower, Lily letting James lead her and thereby validating her hand in his, at least in her opinion. She began to think of Charity's words again… '_Not possible… I saw…I saw… I saw… Why me…?'_

What did that mean…? What had she seen and what's wrong with her to have to say 'Why me?' Lily didn't know, but she _did_ know that the sheer memory of the way Charity's voice had sounded, and the way her face had looked as she spoke them, gave Lily shivers. She involuntarily tightened her grip on James's hand.

At once James stopped walking and dropped Lily's hand. He faced her, a look of fierce concern playing on his features as Lily realized she had tears running down her face.

"Lily", he said, "I want you to know something."

Lily knitted her eyebrows. "What?" she asked as she attempted to wipe her face.

James pulled her into a warm, friendly embrace. Surprised, she had no time to try and pull away from him before he spoke. "Everything's going to be okay, I promise."

Lily shuddered again, trying to hold back a new set of tears forming behind her eyes at the kindness and sincerity of his words. She squeezed him around the middle tightly before they let go. "Let's go find her", she said, "I'm so worried."

James nodded in agreement. They set off at a trot, arriving at the foot of the stairs leading up the astronomy tower. Lily started to walk up, but James put an arm out to stop her.

"Shh", he said, "Listen."

Lily stopped moving and strained her ears. At first she could hear nothing, but sure enough, soon she could make out sobs in the distance. Wild, uncontrollable sobs. She looked at James fearfully, as if expecting some kind explanation or assurance that those noises couldn't possibly be coming form Charity.

_Charity_, she realized._ How in the world had he known she'd be here…? How?_

James took a deep breath. He cast a scrutinous look over Lily. Then: "Can I trust you? I mean _really_ trust you?"

Lily nodded tersely. Anything, she'd agree to anything if she could find out what was wrong with Charity, this girl who'd become more like her sister than her own flesh and blood. _There's something terribly wrong… Badly, terribly wrong… What if she's hurt?_

James took his school bag from his shoulder. "You can never tell anyone about this Lily. Never", he said, his voice hardening, almost cold.

"Okay… I promise", Lily said voice full of emotion.

James appraised her once more before pulling out the long silvery material from his bag. Lily's eyes grew twice their normal size, Lily was sure of it. "How'd you get that?" she asked, amazed.

"My dad", he said shortly. "I brought it with me in case… Well, you, know, just in case. I think we should use it, you know, instead of sneaking up on her and making her anymore upset, or…"

Lily knew what he was trying to say. She nodded, still in awe as James threw the invisibility cloak over the two of them. "Stay close to me", he whispered.

Lily could smell his cologne as he brushed ever so lightly against her. She shivered with the pleasure of the scent. _Charity_, a voice in her head reminded her. She jerked back, guiltily, to reality.

"I will", she said to him. She thought she heard him sigh with a distinct note of longing, but couldn't be positive for they had started the long, long trek up the spiral staircase, closing in on the sobbing now ringing so loudly in Lily's head.

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**A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter. I feel I've gotten a sufficient amount of reviews now that I can reply to the one the review board, which I will be doing shortly. A special thanks to those of you who are reading this now. Again, I'm really sorry for the tardiness, but the length and the next update hould make up for it, I think. I hope you guys like this! I'm kinda if-y about it, so,contradict my fears already! Leave me a review and let me know if you liked it! I know its kinda confusing, but I'm going to get around to it - oh, and you know who you are, romance is coming in shortly... like n-e-x-t, maybe ;)**

**Okay Kiddos! Oreos and hugs! Muah!**

**REVIEW!**

**Love always,**

**BrittanyRose**


	8. Confusion and Confessions Almost

**A/N: Thank you guys so much! I didn't really like last chapter too much… okay, okay, I liked writing Mimsy! She was fun! Thanks to you guys who reviewed. I'm going to respond to everyone at the end of this chapter. Sorry it took so long! As always, Read, Review, & Enjoy!

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**Legal Disclaimer: _See Prologue.

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_This chapter is dedicated to vivphy05. _

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_**Chapter 7:**

**Confusion  
and  
Confessions…  
****Almost**

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Recap: "Stay close to me", he whispered… "I will", she said. Lily thought she had heard him sigh with a distinct note of longing in his voice, but couldn't be sure for they had started walking slowly and silently up the spiral staircase, closing in on the sobbing now ringing in her head.

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As the two of them reached the stone archway that served as a doorway into the topmost landing of the Astronomy Tower, Lily let out an inaudible gasp of horror. She involuntarily laced her fingers through James's, frightened and somehow awed at the sight that lay before them.

Charity, beautiful, sweet Charity, was on lying the dusty floor of that old tower in the fetal position clutching a teacup in one hand and the same tattered journal Lily had seen her grab earlier in the other. She was sobbing so violently it seemed as though she wasn't able to breathe. James let out a barely breathed gasp, and squeezed Lily's hand.

This small amount of pressure on her fingers brought her down to reality: _I'm standing under an invisibility cloak with James Potter. My best friend is having a conniption fit in an abandoned tower. What am I doing?_ She thought vaguely of running away, screaming, but was somehow rooted to the spot.

So there they stood, horror-stricken, for several long seconds before Lily realized Charity was choking out words.

"Can't be… No, it's wrong… It has to be wrong – Please let it be WRONG!" she screamed into the night, words half muddled with dry heaves that were now over taking her small frame. "NO! NO! NOOOO!"

Suddenly, like in a muggle horror movie, Charity sat straight up. Though her face was still wet with tears, the split second she had used to come up right seemed to have been time enough for her voice to turn away from the moist, lamented tone that comes when one cries to a voice that sounded terribly hardened, oddly strained.

"Why me?" she asked quietly. "Why am I… Why?" She picked up a saucer that looked as if it belonged to a set with her cup. She stared at it for a moment, and then hurled it into the opposite wall.

"WHY!" she screamed so loudly, Lily was amazed Dumbledore hadn't heard it in his office on the other end of the castle, three floors below.

Lily let out a soft whimper as James attempted to lead her away. "No", she whispered urgently. "We've got to help her, we've got to James, I can't leave her there!"

Charity was still babbling in the background, now seemingly talking to her teacup. Lily braced herself for more flying chinaware.

"She's not hurting herself, Lily. She's upset – How do you think she'd react if we just busted in on her while she's like that? All we'd succeed in doing is making whatever it is worse. Let's just not upset her more, okay, Lils? It's okay", he said gently, so gently Lily almost felt calm.

That is, almost until they heard it:

"Who's next? Huh? James? Lily? SIRIUS? ME! Why won't you tell me who you asshole, WHY!" she screamed.

James stiffened suddenly.

"What's going on?" Lily asked, terrified. It was not enough that she heard her name, but James, the calm one, was now looking almost as much in disbelief as she felt. And that didn't make her feel better. Not a tiny bit.

James didn't answer, but whipped around so fast he almost wrenched the cloak of the two of them. He seemed to have noticed nothing.

"…James?" she whispered tentivaly. No answer.

He was staring hard towards, but not_ at_ Charity. Lily followed his eyes, wondering what he was staring at, but before she had a chance to search the floor with her eyes, James had grabbed her arm and was leading her forcefully down the stairs, ignoring her questions:

"What were you looking at…? James…? JAMES!" she hissed, over and over again down the stairs, getting more and more angry as they went. _What is going on?_ She thought.

At the bottom of the stairs, James whipped the cloak off of them and took Lily by her arms, looking deep into her eyes. His face was drawn.

"Lily, don't tell anyone what just happened", he said seriously. "Please, promise me you won't."

Lily felt enraged, confused, and, above all else, scared. Not only from what she had just seen, but from the look in his eyes right now. "Why?" she asked, fearfully.

"Please, Lily! Especially not Sirius."

"James", she started slowly, "you _do _realize we're going to be spending the entire day with the two of them tomorrow, don't you? Are you completely mad?" she yelped, her voice rose dangerously. Lily's eyes darted to the foot of the staircase four feet away from where she was standing. As if reading her mind, James walked ahead of her, once again, leading her down corridor and around a corner. Lily followed, still protesting.

"You want me to pretend I didn't see – no, FORGET what I've just seen!"

James nodded without looking at her. "Yeah, I do."

"James there was something seriously wrong!"

He looked t her for a moment before shaking his head. Lily thought he looked as though he was doing some fast thinking. "No, it's off, I know that, but it's normal for these times. People getting killed for no reason, you know? I know its scary, Lily, but you've got to understand it's normal." Something in his voice suggested he knew quite a bit more than he was letting on, she thought, but didn't press that particular point.

"Normal?" Lily screeched. "Okay James, if it's so _normal_ then why is it so goddamned important not to tell anyone! Why James!" A tear trickled down her cheek as she yelled. James was simply staring at her like he had never plainly seen her before. It was unnerving. "There could be something wrong… she was talking to someone who wasn't there, or herself, or something, its not right! What was goi9ng on, James, I know you know, I know you do! Why won't you -"

But suddenly, she couldn't speak anymore. Not because she was overcome with emotion; no that wasn't it. She _was_ overcome, but that had nothing to do with it.

It was because James had just clamped his mouth over her's.

All at once, the fear, the anger, all of it had melted away. She was left with nothing but serenity, although she was still very confused and upset, nothing seemed so bad anymore. Somehow, she felt… happy.

There were no fireworks, no orchestra in the background churning out romantic symphonies… Just James. Just the magnificent feeling of his lips taking her's and the sounds of gentle breathing filling the comfortable air between them.

It did not feel miraculous – It simply felt… _right_.

And comfortable.

And comfort_ing_.

James pulled away after a few seconds and looked down at Lily's face. When her eyes fluttered open, he looked deep into them once more. When he spoke, it still held every note of adamant it had before, but somehow it was much more convincing. "Lily, I know it sounds mental, but if you want to help Charity, you've got to promise not to mention this. Please? Trust me?"

Lily stared silently back into his eyes. After a long second, she nodded, mouth hanging slightly open in a daze.

"Thank you", he said sincerely.

Lily nodded again, quite aware she looked as though she were riding a horse, what with her neck jerking up and down with no sounds coming out of her mouth. She couldn't speak. Absolutely _couldn't_. Between Charity's behavior and James's kiss, Lily felt lucky to still have control over her motor skills. Perhaps she wouldn't speak again for days… or until Christmas?

"So", James said awkwardly, although a definite tinge of self-satisfaction hung form his voice, "You're not going to slap me, then?"

Lily's jaw dropped. She couldn't imagine what she'd want to slap him for…

Then she realized what had just happened.

_He kissed me. James Potter kissed me and… and I let him, didn't I? I kissed him back… no, I didn't… Did I? YES, OH MY GOODNESS, JAMES POTTER KISSED ME AND I LET HIM! WHY DID I LET HIM DO THAT?_ She thought frantically.

James flushed red, as if having read her mind. "I won't do it again… I'm sorry", he said, shoulders slumping.

She nodded again. "Umm… okay. That's… good", she choked out, with much effort.

He smirked sadly.

Lily was about to say something, anything to make him feel better… she wasn't sure what, but as soon as she opened her mouth she would say the perfect thing that would make everything go away…

But James spoke first. "Well, I guess we should go back to the common room", he suggested.

But neither of them moved. They stared at each other for what seemed like several nights in silence. James sighed and turned away, but Lily grabbed his arm gently.

The moment was entirely electric.

He looked at her as she tilted her face upwards to meet his. A small sigh escaped his lips as he started to close his hazel eyes.

"What's going on here?" a strained voice interrupted.

Lily spun around, almost hitting James in the face with the back of her head. "Charity!"

Yes, Charity.

She was standing there, holding that notebook across her chest like a shield, a very blank smile upon her face.

They stared at her.

"I've, uh, I've just been for some tea", she stuttered. "I needed some time, you know, what with Nichole having to leave us… Absolutely dreadful thing that happened to her father – horrible." She looked around uneasily, as if for an escape. Her face was tense – much more so than Lily had ever seen it in seven years – and her smile… without a genuine smile, Lily thought, Charity just didn't look like Charity. Then she pulled a very Charity-like move: She tilted her head to the side, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "What are you two doing here… all alone?" she finished with a forced smirk.

Lily gaped.

Charity was just standing there… like nothing had happened… like she'd HADN'T just been curled up and screaming on a dirty floor less than two minutes ago.

Lily was about to just come unglued at the seams and say all of this, laughing maniacally, when James stepped in front of her.

"_I_ was looking for _you_, actually", he lied unblinkingly.

Charity raised an eyebrow, hands on hips, still glaring suspiciously. Lily had a difficult time not crying, seeing her now almost normal and remembering how pitifully scared and alone she looked a few minutes beforehand.

"I, uh… I couldn't find Sirius, and I figured you'd know where he'd gone, so I asked Lily for you. She told me that you'd just gone, so I convinced her to come with me to find you… So, do you know where he is?" he asked, completely straight faced. Lily was now looking between the two of them with her mouth hanging wide open.

Charity looked at him very funnily then… a look that seemed to suggest that he was insane – seriously mental. "I thought… He's with Remus, James. You know that."

James nearly jumped. He glanced sideways at Lily and shifted his feet. "Oh, I'd forgotten", he said lamely.

Now Lily was gaping at Charity and James and Charity was gaping at James alone… While James stood under the scrutiny of two of the most vicious females Hogwarts had ever seen.

Charity continued to stare at James, that same strange look on her face, as if willing him to start cutting flips to prove he was round the bend, for a long while.

Then she straightened her face and looked to Lily, whose feeling of utter confusion had just intensified rather painfully. _What in bloody Hell is going on?_ She thought.

"Well", Charity said, breaking the silence that had fallen over the three of them. "I'm going to go back to the dormitory. You ought to come up soon as well. We've got to look good tomorrow, you know. You two kids behave yourselves", she added, laughing a sad, hollow laugh.

Lily felt as her temper rising dangerously as she watched Charity amble off. The events of the past hour played over and over again in her head in flashes.

"James", she said rounding on him, "Would you care to explain to me once more how and the hell I'm suppose to get through tomorrow without going mental?"

"She seemed normal to me just now", he said, not meeting her eyes.

That was it. She had had enough.

"You're insane. She's insane. All of you are bloody insane! There's something going on here, something's going on with her, and if I'm not mistaken – and I KNOW I'm not – something's going on with you, too! Why is everyone in the whole damn school acting like a complete nutter!" she screeched. She paused momentarily to gather her next assault.

"James, you've asked me to trust you somewhere around thirty times this evening. You're making it very difficult to do that when I know you're not telling me everything there is to tell."

James shifted guiltily. "Lily, I don't know what's going on. I don't _know_ anything. I just… I honestly don't think there's anything 'wrong' with charity, so to speak. I just, I don't know, _suspect_, there's something going on, possibly, that we're not aware of, and maybe she's not either - not entirely, anyways. Something.. unusual, I guess would be the best word…"

"Okay" she said in the calmest voice she could muster, crossing her arms over her chest, "then what was all that mess about Sirius you two were just dancing around?"

"That", James said, "is Sirius's business. I wish I could tell you, but I can't. You've got to understand I can't. I'm sorry."

Lily, for some reason, believed him without question. This calmed her down immediately.

"So…", she said, "so you don't think Charity is in any kind of… I don't know… danger or anything? I'm so worried…"

James laughed. "No way. She's just sensitive… I don't know how sensitive, but… but, hey, you're a good friend to care so much."

Lily smiled genuinely. "Thanks", she said meekly. "So are you."

"Me?" James said surprised. "Why's that?"

"Because. Not many people would've tried to help me, but… I guess what I mean is I just kind of knew you'd help me. And that's really very cool."

James returned her smile. "Yeah, I guess so. Thanks."

They started walking towards the common room.

"Hey", Lily said suddenly, "What were you doing in the office to night?"

She saw a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. "That is none of your business", he said.

Lily laughed. "Okay, fine, but be aware; the Marauders aren't the only ones who have ways of finding things out."

James chuckled. "Don't worry, Lilkins, you'll know soon enough."

"You mean you're going to tell me?"

"Yeah. Eventually", he said, still grinning.

Seconds later, James was helping Lily through the portrait hole.

"Well…" he said when they were both standing in the common room.

Lily looked around. The room was empty, even though it was only ten pm. She supposed everyone decided to turn in early in anticipation for the Hogsmede trip the next morning. She looked at James. James looked at his shoes.

"Hey, Potter", she said smiling, "Thanks for everything."

He finally met her eyes. "You're welcome. Anytime you need something."

Lily blushed profusely under his intense gaze, but did not look away. She needed to say something, and he wasn't going to stop her. No matter how right it felt to say exactly the opposite.

"Uh, about earlier…" she needn't clarify. They both knew she was referring to 'the kiss'. He opened his mouth to speak, but she held up a hand to stop him. "I don't think that should've happened."

She thought she saw his face twitch, but didn't falter her stare from his face. This had to be done. After everything she still didn't… trust him? Or…

'_Trust me'…'Lily, trust me'… 'Trust me?'_

His words played back in her mind.

_I _do_ trust him… I do. I trust him, and now…_

"I understand", he said shortly. "I'll see you tomorrow, Lily. I'm tired tonight. Sleep well." He turned on his heel and headed for the stairs to his dormitory.

"James…!" she called softly, but he just held up a hand and waved it off, not looking back at her.

"… I shouldn't have said that. Trust me."

She stared at the empty staircase, hoping he'd come back. Hoping that he'd heard.

**Why?** The voice asked.

_Because it was a lie,_ she replied.

**It was?**

_Yes. It was._

**Why'd you lie?**

_I don't know. I felt like I had to lie._

**Why?**

_I don't know!_

**Sure you do. You lied because you're scared. Of being hurt. And rejected. And because you're worried… about other things as well.**

_What things?_

**What was Charity crying about?**

_About which of us was 'next'… Next to… die?_

**Bingo.**

_What does that have to do with anything, though?_

**Everything. Fear… is controlling you. Maybe you should give in for once.**

"I don't know how", Lily said out loud, sadly. She plopped down into an armchair by the fire, which was still glowing bright in the otherwise dark common room.

"I don't know how not to be scared… or how to let go. I don't think I can. I think… I think I'll… always be alone."

She looked around, taking in every detail of this room, of this chair… of this feeling.

_Another few months, and I'm outta here. Then what? Be an Auror? A Potion Maker? A Healer?_

…_Alone?_

Lily groaned in frustration. She cast one last look at the fire before standing up and walking to the stairs that led up to her dormitory. She stopped at the foot of the stairs and looked at the matching staircase ten feet away.

"Goodnight James. I don't know what to do… but I'm sorry."

_One foot at a time, one stair at a time… One day at a time,_ she chanted to herself up the stairs. _One day at a time.

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**A/N: Hope you Enjoy it! I'm in the process of writing the next Chappy already – Hogsmede! Big things are happening… I have plans, oh yes, I have plans. Anyways, Review for me you guys! Thanks to the following people for getting me up off my butt. My mom is in Covington, which is about 20 minutes north of New Orleans right Now and I haven't been able to talk to her in two days, so I'm feeling a bit scared, ad I think it may have helped me get a genuine scary feeling for this time frame with Voldemort and all… Anyways, Review for me!

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Thank you's and replies:

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**Anonymously Morgan: Hey, I updated! I liked the fluff as well. I always love your reviews so much! ****

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Terrifictypingtrio: Thanks as always for your compliments! I do enjoy it – its spite for all the cliffys I've had to deal with, honestly, lol. It's a vicious cycle really.

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**Hpandfriendsruletheworld: I'm so glad you like Charity! I worked really hard on that character. You could be right about that 'thing' or I could be leading you on… you might be too clever for your own good, lol. Thanks for coming on board Brittany's review ship! ;)

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**Pink Luvin Goddess: I think I will become an author… if I ever write with my own characters… that's why I like Lily and James fics so much… there's so much room for playing, you know? Review again please! Thanks! **

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Vivphy05: Potential for the top! Me! Hot DAMN:does a happy dance: I'm glad you liked it :) ****

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Juicy Love: Alice will be back soon. I'm so glad you like Charity! As before, I love her, she's my baby, and I'm trying very hard with her especially. Thanks!

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**Lo: Updated!

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**BlueJeanMistress: You are definitely in my top two favorite reviewers! Thanks so much for all your excellent support!

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**X.Little.Black.Cat.X: You scared me jumping out like that! Come back soon! I miss your reviews, they're always so good!

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**HazelOcean: Updated!

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**Madame-Knight: I hope you come back soon! I miss you!

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**James lover: Yay! More for Charity! I'm so glad so many people have commented on her! Thanks!

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**RustedFantasy: I'm glad you enjoy it… Now come back and tell me how my story is progressing!

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**Idancer: I'm sorry for neglecting you! I hope you come back! Thanks for the compliments, btw! Thanks!

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Love, hugs and oreos for all! **

BrittanyRose, the original 'Fleur'

Love, hugs and oreos for all! Love, hugs and oreos for all! 


	9. Everything Will Be Okay

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**A/N: I want to thank everyone who was so concerned about my mother. I've finally heard form her, and she's safe – their house is even okay! I'm going to be posting some donation hotlines and phone numbers connected to Hurricane relief on my profile shortly, so if you're interested please check it out.**

**Anyways, thanks for all the nice reviews, but I know there are some of you out there being shy, so, I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU to review. I've got almost 30 people with this story on their favorites and only 10 or so reviews for last chapter… there's something fishy going on there…**

**:) I'll give you a cookie…!**

**Anyways, review response will be following the Chappy, and please enjoy! (And REVIEW!)**

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Oh, and my sincerest apologies for this taking so long to update! It'll never happen again, I swear!**

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Legal Disclaimer: _See Prologue.  
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_This chapter is dedicated to Pink Luvin Goddess._

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**_Chapter Eight:_ **

_Everything Will_

_Be Okay_

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Charity lay awake that evening, staring at the ceiling, wondering why. She could hear Alice's gentle snores coming from the next bed. Usually there would have been a second set of snores emitting from Nichole – No, she mustn't think of that. She absolutely mustn't. After all, as she reasoned with her self time and time again, it wasn't her fault. There was nothing that could have been done to prevent it… She did nothing wrong.

_I don't want this,_ she thought to herself_. Why…?_

_The Grim, forever in the bottom of the cup, numbers growing smaller as weeks passed by, inching slowly towards the brim…_

_The castings… Isa – always Isa…_

_And the cards – Oh, the cards, damn them! – the hanged man… sacrifice, pain… the devil showed then end of something, the END of something…_

_Its not my fault, its not my fault, its not my fault, its not my fault, its not my - _

Charity suddenly heard the door creak open, ever so gently. As she stifled back the tears behind her eyes, she listened to Lily's footsteps padding across the thick carpet. After a momentary rustling of fabric, she heard the tale tell swish of bed hangings being closed and knew her best friend was in bed.

A few long minutes later, when she was sure Lily was asleep, Charity sat up slowly, and ever so slightly did she open her bed curtains, and looked at the journal sitting on her bedside table. She had checked it over and over again, hoping that what she recorded was wrong, or that it was interpreted wrongly… but every time she found that it was correct. She was not just seeing things… She was Seeing things. And not as her Divination teacher Saw things.

When Charity Saw… she knew exactly what she was looking at, exactly what they meant. It was as if the messages she deciphered were written plainly in the cups, on the stones, and on the cards. She KNEW for certain… There was no room for interpretation. She KNEW.

The only problem was what she _didn't _know: She didn't know what or whom the readings were meant for. She couldn't think clearly when she cast runes or tried the tarot… her mind was filled with thoughts of different people and places and questions… so all she could gather was that there was going to be more…

And they were going to be people she knew – or at least concern people she knew. And that disturbed her more than anything else. She did not want to See. She had spent three years trying not to do it. But it was becoming a powerful addiction now. As if she couldn't control the urges to do so.

_No,_ she scolded herself mentally just as she was reaching a hand out to pick up the journal again_. I'm not going to do this. I can't do this._

Charity thought miserably of what she had become in the past few weeks. She was quite aware of the depression that overtook her more than happiness, and quite aware that tomorrow, she wouldn't let it happen again. If not for herself, then for Sirius

Sirius alone now made her happy, and Sirius alone scared the hell out of her. There was nothing that could hurt her more than having their happiness disrupted - he was her world and her whole heart. There was nothing he'd dislike more than seeing her upset, and the last thing she wanted to do was make him unhappy.

So, tomorrow, everything would be okay.

She would wake up, spend her day with good friends and the love of her life, and be happy. Then everything would be okay. She would take that good mood and use it as a springboard into her previous, jovial life. Then everything would be okay. She would go back to being herself and helping Remus and James and Lily… And everything would be okay.

She sighed to herself as she finally pulled her hand away from the journal. _Yes_, she thought, _Everything will be okay_.

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James woke the next morning before he even opened his eyes. So he kept them closed. After all, why should he invite the tremendous headache that awaited him the moment the sunlight hit his pupils any sooner than absolutely necessary?

His head was swimming with images of Lily, regularly intermingled with those of Sirius and… Charity.

He definitely didn't want to think about Charity. Not today, and especially not this morning. But, for some strange reason, not wanting to think about her pushed the subject promptly to the front of his mind.

He still couldn't believe he hadn't realized it the moment he saw her in the astronomy tower. He supposed the reason he hadn't was simply because she wasn't an insufferable twit as the rest of them come off to be. Them, he thought. Was it possible that she was real? There was no way of telling for sure… But why was she afraid if it wasn't legitimate? What would Sirius think if he had seen what James had seen? James knew Charity wasn't stupid enough to be afraid of a figment of her imagination… Fear.

Being scared.

James knew a thing or two about the subject… _Lily_, he thought.

James groaned in frustration as he thrashed around under his blankets, burying his face in his pillow. _Females_, he thought disdainfully. _Those two piss me off!_

He wondered, vaguely, what in hell Lily was thinking last night… He kissed her, she kissed him back. She tried to kiss him again – that is, until Charity…

James punched his pillow. "Damn girls", he growled, "drive me round the bend, they will."

"You'd be making a return trip seeing as you'd have to be round the bend to be talking to yourself in the first place, Prongs", he heard, as his bed hangings were suddenly ripped open.

"Shut up Padfoot", James's muffled voice replied. He rolled over, running a hand through his messy hair, yawning. "What time is it?"

Sirius looked down at his muggle wristwatch (a present form Charity), and said, "Almost six thirty."

James opened his eyes. "What the hell are you doing up so early?" he asked astonished.

Sirius shrugged. "I stayed up all night. It's much easier than getting up early, don't you think?"

James rolled his eyes, but chuckled slightly. "Well, go bother Wormtail. I'm sleeping until noon, at least", he told his friend, closing his eyes again.

Sirius seemed highly insulted by this bit of information. "What!" he yelped, as though burned, "The Hogsmede trip it today, you git!"

"Yes, I know. I'm not going. I've got too much on my mind", James replied easily. He opened his eyes slightly to see a comprehending smile dance on Sirius's features. This was most certainly not the reaction James had been expecting, and at this early hour, he found it annoyed him greatly. "What's so funny?"

Sirius sat down on the foot of the bed, still smiling.

"What!" James snarled.

"You're going", Sirius said.

James cocked an eyebrow, then: "No, I'm not."

Sirius nodded. "Oh, yes-" –"No I'm not!" - "- Shut up, James – yes you are. You're going because I know why you don't want to go", he replied, as thought this fixed everything.

James looked doubtful. "Do you, now?"

Sirius nodded again. "Did you know I'm getting awfully good at eavesdropping on Lily?"

"What's your point?" James asked, grumpily. He didn't even want to hear her name.

"Last night when I came in from running about with Moony, I nipped off in one of the corner armchairs in the common room. I was actually waiting on you to come back and wake me up, and you did – kind of. I was torn from my peaceful slumber by two certain authority figures – namely you and Lily – who were returning from some sort of rounds, I presume… And I heard it."

James's mouth was hanging slightly open in astonishment. "You're trying to tell me that… That I'm going to go to Hogsmede today because – because you heard the conversation that made me not want to go? Mate, I think you've gone round the bend", James said.

So it seemed, for Sirius was now grinning more madly and widely than ever. "No, not at all", Sirius said, "Lily started talking to herself after you stormed off."

James felt his heart leap suddenly. "Oh?" he asked, in what he hoped was a casual voice. Not so. Sirius now looked as though he was fighting back fits of laughter.

"Listen to Prongsie here, like he doesn't care…"

James sat up. "Sirius, please."

Although his smile remained, it was no longer the teasing, patronizing smile it had been. "Sorry James", Sirius said.

"What did she say?" James asked, half scared to hear the answer.

"She started in on herself about how she shouldn't have said what she said, you know, about how something shouldn't have happened, like she's glad it happened or something, I guess – and that she was lonely and whatnot…" He paused for a moment, a thoughtful look on his face, then: "I think she's seriously torn up over you, Prongs."

James hardly dared believe it. "She said she… that she shouldn't have said 'it shouldn't have happened'?"

"Yes sir, that's what she said. The only thing I couldn't figure out was… well, what exactly was it that 'shouldn't have happened'?"

James looked Sirius straight in the eyes, daring him to laugh. "I kissed her."

Sirius's jaw dropped. "You… WHAT!"

"I just – I don't know – did it. She was upset and I guess I just felt like I wanted to protect her. Make her feel happy. Then I just kissed her in mid-sentence. And she… Well, she kissed me back as well. Really kissed me back… It felt like it was destined to happen," James saw the corners of Sirius's mouth twitch, but threw him a dangerous look, effectively eliminating the spasm. "But then she said that it shouldn't have happened and I left her well enough alone."

"But she asked you to wait!" Sirius bellowed.

"I thought she was going to try and make me feel good about being rejected!" James cried. It had seemed that way at the time, after all. How was I supposed to have known, he thought. This seemed a valid point: "How was I supposed to have known!"

Sirius's eyes looked as thought they were going to pop out of his face. "What in bloody hell is wrong with you, you great berk! Blimey, Prongs… You had her, mate, you HAD her! When she asked to you wait and you ignored her – You had her, you moron!"

James, now fully awake, was slowly processing this information. He found it completely joyous and utterly painful all at once. Sirius was right – he could have had her, or at least come closer to having her than he had ever been… If only he would have come back when she had asked maybe… maybe Lily Evans would be his girlfriend today – right now.

_But, NO_, James thought, _I just had to be thick enough_ –

"Oy!" Sirius yelled, waving his left hand in front of James's face. "What are you going to do now?"

"What do you mean?" James replied miserably.

Sirius gaped at him. "James, pal-o-mine, old buddy, old friend – you've got to get u off your ass. You can't just give up!"

"Why not? I'm tired, Padfoot. I'm so tired of being rejected by her… it hurts too much."

"Look, asshole: You're a Marauder", Sirius said indignantly, "I won't let you give up. Seriously, James, if this cat and mouse bullshit doesn't stop between you two, it's never going to happen. This is it mon frere, this is the SEVENTH AND FINAL YEAR. You're going to fight for this, especially now that you know how she feels."

James shook his head sadly. " I don't know anything about how she feels. I just know what you told me she said."

Suddenly, Sirius lepta up and grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him violently. "Wake up, you git! If you love her – and I know you do - you've got to do it! Take a chance, James! If you don't I can promise you a few things: first off, you'll never, EVER find another girl as great as Lily besides Charity – and she's MINE; Secondly, you'll never, EVER have another chance; and last, but most importantly, you'll never forgive yourself if you don't do this. Do it. Do it today, Prongs", he finished, relinquishing his grip on James.

James sat in shock at the fact that Sirius, his best friend in the entirety of the world, had just grabbed him – then the truth in his words hit him. James began to think fast.

"I need some time", he breathed out, running a hand through his hair. "I meant to finish last night, but…" he trailed off, thinking.

"What are you planning?" Sirius asked.

James attempted a smile, but was in too much of a rush trying to fit all of his thoughts inside his head and not forget them. "Charity told me something… I'm nearly done… Gotta go!" he exclaimed, jumping to his feet and running to the door, stopping only when he heard Sirius's voice ring out:

"Have fun in your PJs, Prongs!"

James looked down at his attire, swearing loudly and waking Peter up in the process. He dashed to his trunk, and realizing he'd never cleaned up from the night before, grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, stripping in the middle of the dormitory, and running to the door once more.

Peter sat up, looking around the room with a dazed look on his face for a moment, then threw himself back onto his pillow without even sparing a glance for Sirius who was now standing by the door holding a pair of shoes.

When James returned thirty seconds later, he took the shoes fromSirius's arms, paused a moment, then pushed Sirius into the wall. "Padfoot, you're my best mate. I want to thank you and all, but if you ever shake me like that again, I'll hex you into oblivion", and without waiting for a reply, he was off again.

Sirius chuckled to himself as he listened to the snores coming from Peter's bed. He ran a hand through his hair, letting it fall messily, yet, unlike James's hair, elegantly back into his eyes. He decided to set about dressing. Just as he had picked out his clothing, Peter shot straight up in his bed and looked over to wear Sirius was standing.

"What the hell are you doing up so early?" he asked, incredulously.

Sirius grinned. "I'm going to surprise Charity. I'm going to be waiting on her when she comes down and escort her to breakfast for once, AND", he said, waving a small bottle around, "I'm going to smell good, too." He wiggled his eyebrows jokingly. Peter shook his head, smiling.

"Whatever blows your skirt up, Padfoot", he muttered, letting himself fall back once more. Sirius was still grinning as he thought of his pocketful of gold and the purchase he was going to begin researching in just a couple of hours.

As Sirius was leaving the dormitory to wait on Charity, Peter was snoring loudly once again.

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Lily Evans woke up that morning just after seven am. She groaned sleepily and looked over to Nichole's bed, which was, of course, empty.

Memories of the previous evening flooded back to her painfully. She could almost define Charity's behavior as normal compared to her own actions – those actions that she would never ever disclose to anyone, EVER.

Lily had promised her self upon entering this room last night that she would not mention what she had seen to anyone. She would try and forget – write it off as another case of terror caused by Lord Voldemort. She could, after all, understand. The muggle deaths weighed heavily on her mind constantly. Perhaps Lily had simply overreacted? Yes, that would be it. Stress. Stress and –

_James._

_James Potter_.

She got up out of bed, looking over to Charity's curtain-drawn bed, where, at the foot where the trunk was, was the sweater, skirt and boot combo Lily had helped her pick out. She felt a familiar surge of envy course through her veins as she thought of Charity and Sirius. How she wanted that kind of love for her own. She immediately reprimanded herself for having thoughts of jealousy towards Charity. Lily knew her best friend deserved it, but the feelings of yearning for affection like they shared remained.

She knew that she could easily fall for James. As a matter of fact, she felt herself falling as she walked into the bathroom. She felt herself falling as she brushed out her hair.

Alice walked into the bathroom, leaning against the doorframe. "Whatcha up to?" she asked, yawning.

Lily shrugged, her mind still dancing aroundthe hazel-eyed boy. "I'm not sure what to do with myself this morning", Lily replied miserably.

Alice's eyes brightened at once. Lily immediately sensed her mistake, but she didn't have a chance to escape before, "How about a Glamour Charm?" Alice cried.

Lily slowly backed away, placing her index fingers on either hand in front of her like a cross. "Oh no, you don't!" she said, watching her friend like a hawk. Alice had been trying to make Lily over since the first day they met.

"Oh, Lils, come on!" Alice whined, "You're so pretty, you're perfect for a Glamour Charm! I really want to!" she begged, breaking out the puppy dog eyes.

Lily shook her head stubbornly. "Uh uh, no way. Don't put your wand anywhere near _any_ of my extremities, or I'll snap it in half."

Alice sulked. "Fine. Ruin my day."

Lily did not care. She knew that she had put Alice off of this trip far too many times to have actually hurt her feelings.

She looked into the mirror and visualized James standing there with her. She paused for a moment, then sighed.

**Perhaps it would be a nice change, just for the day, to let Alice have her way about this. You'd never have to make her leave you alone again, you know… and James may like it, **the annoyingly persuasive voice in her mind said.

_No way! I'm not gonna do that just for some guy_.

**Not just any guy.**

_Yes, but_…

…But Lily couldn't help but feel that James may not want her anymore. She could remember Charity's angry voice from the beginning of the school year still ringing in her head: _'If you keep pushing people away, eventually they're going to stop coming back.'_

Had she finally pushed too far? He had come back so many times… too many to count. Lily had previously believed that he'd just come back for the chase – the game of getting the one who wouldn't have him. Now she wasn't so sure. It was a painful concept – much too painful to think about.

"Hey Alice?" she called. "What exactly does a Glamour Charm do?"

Alice squealed excitedly. "You know those models in the muggle magazines? You'll look like that – oh Lily, they're fantastic! But they're really difficult... I don't know anyone else who can do one… Anyway, they automatically play up your best features according to your personal preferences. You'll love it, trust me."

But Lily had stopped listening at around the third sentence. "What do you mean 'they're really difficult' and "no one else who can do one'?"

Alice waved a hand untroubled. "They're just difficult to get the bugs out of seeing as how it does something different for everyone. It's no big deal."

"No-n-no big DEAL!" Lily sputtered. "Alice, I swear by Merlin's Beard if you turn my hair purple I'll – "

"Yes, yes, you'll put me in detention for the rest of my life."

Lily nodded vehemently. "That's right! Dont' you dare mess it up - "

"It lasts for exactly eighteen hours", she said, still grinning broadly. Lily knew she was going to let Alice do it, and obviously, so did Alice, for sheconjured a plush stool out of thin air in front of the mirror. "Sit",Alice said, motioning towards the stool. Lily obeyed, but was still protesting.

"Alice, you're sure you know what you're doing?" Lily asked, as she sat down facing the mirror.

"Yes, Lils, I'm sure. You know I'm really good with Charms", she replied as she turned Lily around so that she was facing Alice with her back to the mirror.

"Hey, I wanna see!"

Alice laughed. "Nope, that's not how it works."

Before Lily could protest more, Alice had her wand out. "I need you to hold quite still."

Lily's mouth stopped working, hanging open. She was suddenly very afraid of Alice. She could almost feel pain from the anticipation. She was beginning to regret having agreed to this.

"_Infinitus formositas_", she heard being muttered. Lily tried to turn her head around, just slightly, to see herself, but Alice stepped in her line of vision. She repeated the spell twice more. This made Lily feel as though something had gone wrong, for she didn't feel any different. _Why does she need to say it so many times?_ she thought frantically.

"No fair, Alice, I want one too!" a voice sounded from the doorway. Charity was standing there in her dressing gown looking completely normal, and very well rested. It took an act of pure will on Lily's partto trynot tocomparewhat Charity's face had looked like the night before to this morning.

_No,_ Lily thought_, I'm not going to think of that_.

All of a sudden, Charity squealed and Lily jumped. "Wow, Lils, you look so awesome! Oh my goodness! Alice, do me too!"

Alice beamed. "Sure", she said to Charity, she then turned to Lily and said,"Hop up."

Lily gazed up at her confusedly. "Huh? You're done?"

"Yup", she said, "take a look."

Lily stood up, not even wasting the time to look in the bathroom mirror. She headed straight to the full-length mirror in the bedroom. She let out barely audible gasp when she got up to it.

She looked as if she had just been airbrushed from head to toe: her skin was absolutely glowing; her face looked as though she had no flaws – her lips! She had pretty lips like Charity's (almost); her hair appeared to be longer and –to top it all off – it was BEHAVING itself! Lily felt ecstatic as she gazed upon herself. She had never before realized how pretty she looked with a bit of a tan, which the Charm had apparently given her.

"Alice, you're a genius!" she exclaimed. "I think I'm thinner as well!"

Alice laughed. "Somehow I doubt that."

Charity yelled out: "I think I look almost tall with one!"

Soon all three girls were bursting into fits of giggles. Charity emerged form the bathroom, her long blonde hair falling into perfect, loose ringlets. Alice was putting the finishing touches on her own Charm while Charity was trying to coerce Lily into wearing an emerald sundress. Lily looked at Charity, at how happy she seemed, and laughed at herself inwardly. She felt foolish and ashamed for having listened in on her best friend the night before. There seemed to be nothing wrong today. She supposed it WAS just pent up stress and fear for her life – after all, she was a muggle-born, just like Lily. The two of them had more to be scared of than most wizards or witches.

"Lily?" Charity asked, waving a hand in front of Lily's face. "Ah, dreaming about a certain hazel-eyed boy, are we?"

"What!" Lily screeched, waking from her reverie with impressive speed. She grabbed a pillow and flung it at the tiny girl who was now having fits of laughter. "No way! Shut up!"

Charity wiped tears of pure joy from her eyes as she tried to control her giggles. "Lily, I saw you two last night – I'm not stupid."

"Yes, Lily, we know already", Alice said, every syllable dripping with a kind concern.

"I don't know what the two of you are talking about! I think you've both gone mad", she said evasively. She knew she was not being very convincing, but she felt like lying to these two girls would only make her feel worst. "Or perhaps I've gone mad", she said miserably.

Alice smiled slightly as she finished dressing. "Lily, do what feels right. Don't worry about what might happen. Dream about what could be", she said. She pulled on her shoes, and waved goodbye to Charity and Lily. "I'm going to meet Frank for breakfast. See you two in a little while."

Charity was staring intently at Lily, who was looking away. "What?"Lily asked quietly.

Charity shook her head. "Lily, I know there's something going on between you two. I don't know what exactly, and I'm not going to ask because I believe you'll confide in me when you're ready.But I will tell you something: You never know when or if you'll ever have another chance at something you want, so you'd better have after it while you still can. There's no point in being scared all the time – its better to let things happen to you than worry about them all the time and be miserable not knowing and caring, because you'll never KNOW. So just… be naïve and don't care, you'll be much happier. And who knows? Maybe James is your soul mate", she finished seriously.

"You know what, Charity?" Lily said, "Sometimes I don't appreciate how great you really are."

Charity blushed profusely. "I'm not great. I just… I just care about you Lily. You're the closest thing to a sister I've ever had and one of the few real friends I've ever had, too. I want you to be happy."

Lily smiled. "I know I've asked you this before, but you and Sirius… you really love him, don't you?"

"More than I ever thought I could."

"Hm."

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

"Are you happy?"

"I'm lonely."

"Hmm."

"You're happy aren't you? With Sirius?"

"Yes. Sirius... and that's pretty much it."

"I'm sorry for that."

"Don't be."

"I am anyways."

Charity paused, looking down. Then:

"Lily, are you scared?"

"Of what?"

"Of Voldemort."

"Yes", she answered truthfully.

"Me too." Charity paused again. "Are you scared of dying?"

Lily thought about this for a moment before answering. "I don't want to die for a long time. I want to have been able to live first… But… No. I'm not scared. I think it's just a… a passageway of sorts… between here and somewhere better."

A single tear fell down Charity's cheek, but Lily pretended not to notice for her sake. "I hope that I get to go somewhere better."

Lily smiled, a genuine smile, and said: "I don't think you'll have to worry about that. Not you."

Charity smiled back. As she looked up at Lily, it seemed that there was a shadow, almost like a veil, lifting from over her eyes for the first time in weeks. Lily sat next to Charity on he bed and hugged her. The two girls sat like that for a goodwhile before either of them spoke. Finally, Charity said, "I'm going to go get breakfast, you coming?"

"In a minute. You go ahead, I'll catch up", she said.

Charity nodded and set off to, Lily assumed, wait or Sirius to wake up as Lily looked at herself once again. Charity had in fact talked her into wearing the dress. Charity had talked her into quite a bit in the past few minutes. _'You never know whenor _if_you'll have another chance…'_

"Well", Lily said to herself, "hopefully there isn't going to be a need for another chance… Okay Lily, you can do this. Everything will be okay."

She sighed aloud once more before turning the doorknob.

"Everything will be okay."

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**A/N: Hey guys! I'm so sorry again for the delay. I hope you liked it, I know it's not my best. I meant to make it much longer than it is, but I decided to cut it off here instead of go into the next part of the story – if I had it would be about 5,000 words for this chapter alone! I've been under quite a bit of stress with my mom in New Orleans and school and all (exams are brutal!). Anyways, I was very pleased with all the reviews I got last chappy. I'd like to take a moment and thank you guys for them!**

**Hprules3: Thanks! Oh, and does it LOOK like I'm leaving you hanging?**

**BlueJeanMistress: No L/J here, but I swear to you, its coming next chappy – oh yeah, its going to be good! Thank you so much for your continual reviews! They make me happy!**

**Hpandfriendsruletheworld: I'm glad you liked the kiss. I was rather fond of that particular paragraph. Yeah, my mom lives by there, but she's all right! I heard from her! Thanks so much for your concern!**

**HPHGKCroar: Sorry for the delay, L/J major action coming up – don't you just hate me for the anticipation! But it makes it better! I'm glad Charity had an effect on you; even if it was that she was frightening. I was getting a lot of requests to make it "darker" as I was writing, so….**

**Daisy: I hope you come down to help. I'm working in an animal shelter right now. My thanks go out to you for your prayers – they were much appreciated. Thank you for the confidence boost as well! I'm really enjoying writing this, and I'm glad you're enjoying reading it so much!**

**Terrifictypingtrio: Ah, so we meet again my faithful reviewer… I'm so glad you said that! It means a lot to me! No one's ever really complimented my style before. Here's the update, though not as soon as you hoped for, but here nonetheless! I hope you like it!**

**James Lover: I'm not totally awesome… slightly perhaps, but… ahem, anyways, I'm glad it's your favorite! And, yes, that's exactly why she was scared. **

**To the person who failed to leave a name: People tend not to like characters who are always brave and have no flaws – they can't relate to them. I know I hate them. Lily is growing as a person as she struggles with these feelings overcoming her, I HOPE I'm showing that anyways. I think she is weak as well, but I think that we all are – especially when it comes to situations that involve really opening yourself up to being vulnerable to pain (and ESPECIALLY when we've already experienced that pain). I'm glad you expressed you obvious displeasure with my character development, it shows that even if you don't care for it, it still made you want to contact me with this information. I hope you understand my reasoning a bit more now :)**

**X.Little.Black.Cat.X: I so enjoy your reviews. I hope this chapter made you feel better about "listening in' – a mouse? EEEK!**

**Pink Luvin Goddess: I agree with facing fears. I hope this makes you happy! It's a definite start, I think. This chapter is for you! I hope you continue to review for me!**

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**Thank you guys again for all the encouragement, and especially those of you who contacted me offsite! Again, I hope you liked this chapter; I'm almost done with the next one as I update this now! Please, please review… or… or I WON"T UPDATE (okay, thats a lie, but do it anyways! Please, lol?) REVIEW!**

**Hugs and Oreos,**

**Love,**

**BrittanyRose**


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